Paper Balls | Yoonmin

wonder pt.1

"jimin, you're the best. let me just say that for starters. i know you may not have had the best childhood, the best parents, or other kids around you. i know you think very low of yourself compared to others but just let me tell you it's not true. you are an amazing kid, jimin. you're so smart, and sweet, and cute. you're a million times better than anyone else i've met. and i'm being honest here, jimin. so please listen to what i'm saying.

what the others say to you doesn't matter. yes what they do to you physically does but i kicked their asses for it and got suspended. the only opinion around you that matters is that of the people who love you. the people who care about you. the people who are here to care for you and protect you against those who have negative things to say. just remember that if you are ever feeling that way again, come to me.

i'll make you forget all about it. i'll tickle you or something until you can't breathe or something like that. i know how you're scared to tell your grandma but she's here for you, too. it hurts to see, yes, but we are here to help you, jiminie. i promise."

jimin sniffled and blinked, letting more tears run down his cheeks.

i let out a long breath and looked down at my hands that were holding his smaller ones. i hated what i saw just above them but i also understood. i knew the feeling all too well.

"just don't do it again, please? i don't like seeing my little boy hurt himself." i figured getting him into little space might help with the situation.

it was about four in the morning when i woke up to find him in the bathroom with a razor blade in his hands. i won't say i freaked out but i think i had a mini heart attack. that's something you never want to see from someone you love.

i gently took the blade from him, putting it in the trashcan before going back to check his arms. none of them were new which is what hurt more. he'd been doing it for a while and i didn't even notice.

i gave him that long speech you heard some of. he stayed quiet mostly. the worst part was the way it seemed to make me feel. it was this terrible clenching in my chest that churned my stomach and made me want to hold him tightly and never let go. so, acting upon impulse, that's what i did.

i disregarded his protest when he said he doesn't deserve my "affection" because of what he did. if anything he deserves more to show him that i love him and that he's perfect just the way he is. 

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