Paper Balls | Yoonmin

hoseok

A/N: Hello my lovely Pangolin children. So... I completely forgot what I was going yo say here... Anyways, byeeee.

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Jimin POV

"why w-won't you leave me alone?" i asked, continuing to walk down the hall.

"i just want to know what yoongi sees in you." hoseok said with a monotone voice as he looked me up and down.

"w-wh-hat do you mean?" i stopped at my locker to put my books away.

"i mean, he's totally head over heels for you, obviously, i just want to know why." he gave a slightly grossed out look.

"gee, thanks. really boosts my self esteem." i muttered sarcastically. HOLY SHIT. i mean- wow. i got out a whole, slightly sarcastic, sentence! but now is not the time to congratulate myself.

hoseok looked mad but i could see a tint of something else in his eyes. it was the same look i saw months ago.

i gulped, feeling my blood run cold.

by this point, most of the students had already cleared the hallways and gone home.

"c-come on, hoseok. just drop it and g-go home."

"no. i want to play a little game first. i wonder just how long you can keep your mouth shut."

"o-oh, okay." i suddenly felt so small again. weak. why am i like this?

hoseok suddenly had me up against the locker, his whole body pressed up against mine. my breath hitched. my heart beat a million miles a minute out of fear.

"please s-stop-p." i said, trying to push him off of me but it didn't work, he was stronger.

i heard a small click and the sensation of something sharp and cold against the small of my back.

"be quiet. you don't want to get hurt, do you?"

i shook my head no, closing my eyes tight, hoping this was all just a dream.

hoseok dragged me into the boy's bathroom, pinning me against the wall once again. i tried pushing, kicking, scratching- anything to get him off of me.

i yelped when i felt the cold metal cut into my skin.

"i told you to stay quiet. just let me finish my work and i'll be on my way." he whispered into my ear, dragging his tongue along my jawline. i held my breath. that cut fucking hurt.

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i think it's safe to say i'm justified for cutting this time. well, it wasn't as much cutting as it was scraping the skin off my body. sounds bad, i know, but it would be hard for you to understand.

i felt so... dirty. i was in the shower, continuing to scrub and scratch at my skin for a long time before i realized what i'd done to myself.

it made me feel better, i will admit that. when i do cut, i do it to relieve stress; it makes me feel better. the burning sensation is almost comforting.

i dressed myself in clothing that covered most of my body. everything hurts. but what can i do? i'm so terribly pathetic.

why me? i'm beginning to question many things about myself. especially the fact that i am in shock. i've never felt shock before.

i know i will be able to better process today's events better in the morning. i'm not really looking forward to that.

hoseok said for me to keep quiet. when he meant that i didn't want to get hurt, he meant hurting those close to me and myself. he wants to infict the most emotional pain on me as he can, like he explained.

i never thought my first time would go like that. but that technically wasnt. that was rape. and i have to keep my mouth shut... right? he told me so. i can't let him hurt anyone close to me. i know he's targeting yoongi.

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"F-FUCKING HELL." i shot up in my bed, sweating, crying, and aching. it was almost three a.m. my grandma should be getting off her shift soon.

i couldn't control my crying. it felt like one of those heartbreaking sobs that seem like they will never stop.

my grandmother dropped her glass on the table once seeing me run into the kitchen, sobbing, at three in the morning.

she quickly grabbed me and huged me tight. i struggled to regain my breath through choking on my own sobs. i guess everything has hit me now. i mean, i cried on the bathroom floor at school for a good hour but this is more than that. this hurts more emotionally.

"sweetie, what happened?" she walked us over to the couch and sat down, facing me with a look of worry and fear. it had been a long time since i've cried like this.

"h-h-h-" i stumbled over my first word, i just could not get it out.

"he r-r-r" i kept crying.

"who, honey? who?"

"ho-os-seok." i forced out. she knows about the last time this happened because she came to get me from school but that time was barely anything.

my heart began beating really, really fast. my breathing became unsteady and radical.

"oh my god... please tell me he didn't-"

i nodded, confirming her worst fear and she hugged me tightly again. she rubbed my back comfortingly.

i spent the next hour crying and struggling to explain what exactly happened. it hurt so much to just talk about it.

after i calmed down, her and i just sat on the couch, both tired and not knowing what to do.

"i want yoongi." i muttered, suddenly wishing for him to be here do bad it hurt.

"i know sweetie. we can try to see him tomorrow after we talk to the school. we need to take care of this, okay? he can't go unpunished. he just told you he'd hurt you because he wanted to scare you into not telling. he won't really hurt you, or yoongi, or anyone."

i nodded, beginning to fall asleep from exhaustion. she kissed me on the head and i lumbered up to my room, falling asleep as soon as i hit my bed.