I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Twelve Chapter

3 full days sober and sex free

I sleep most of the next day. But by 7 Jasmine is at the door. Jasmine and her smooth skin, small tight dress, long black plait. Jasmine the "Disney princess look alike" is here.

The dress is so small that the tattoo barely hides under it at all. She flicks her plait around to her other shoulder and leans on one foot expectantly.

"Who knew you had friends? Where were you?'' She asks.

"I slept with this guy called Patrick and we became friends?" I play it down.

"3 days is a long time. I missed your bitchy comments and sarcastic remarks."

I shrug, "I obviously am the life of the party... You cant live without me!"

"Bullshit." She chuckles sourly. "Well, are you coming or not?"

"Im in, but I cant drink tonight." I tell her.

"Yeah, yeah. Wait until you get there!"

She shrugs and we start walking down the street. Our footsteps are synchronised as we stride towards our new favourite club.

I look up at the sky as we walk. Its already dark and the sky is a deep blue. There are no clouds tonight, only faint stars, blocked by light pollution.

"Come on, stop looking up and get with it!" Jasmine prompts me.

She grabs my hand and drags me into the club. I feel at home as the loud music hits me. The smell of alcohol is tempting and I struggle to stay away from the bar.

I force myself into a crowd instead, pushing my way into the swarm of sweaty bodies. I can see Jasmine at the bar, two of her long slender fingers are up as she looks back to check for me.

I try to dance along with the people but I find it hard. Eventually I give up and leave, back to Jasmine.

"Whos that for?" I ask, pointing at her second drink.

"You." She replies back, struggling over the loud music.

I chuckle, "No really. You know Im not getting drunk tonight."

She shoves one of the drinks into my hand. "This one wont get you drunk! Thats why I got it for you."

My eyes flicker between the drink and Jasmine. The sweet smell emitting from the glass starts to break my hope of staying sober. Maybe its just a juice?

"Come on! Just drink it! Youll be fine!"

Jasmine puts her hand on her hip.

"I bought it for you!"

Just one sip I guess, its not going to get me drunk. And Im counting my sober-ness, not whether I drink or what ever. Its justifiable.

I shrug and reply with "Okay, I guess.".

I take a small sip from the glass. It tastes so good that it turns out to be a not so small sip.

Before anyone starts to get angry, I can explain. You know when you havent drunk for hours and you finally take a sip of water? You cant take a sip. It tastes so good you have to gulp down the whole bottle. This is what happens here, as I drink almost half the glass in one go.

I shove the glass back into Jasmines hand. "Dont give it back. I cant drink any more."

"Just hold it and dont drink it." Jasmine advises.

I nod slowly, taking back my poison.

Throughout the night I cant help but sip from the glass every now and then. My subconscious auto-pilot takes over and I just let things happen.

Im so clever.

So if you jump forward, I dont know how many hours, you will see me. You will see me drunk and in someones bed.

Good going Jesse.

My lips form on anothers. My naked chest pressed up against his. His arms around me as I slowly grind on him.

I dont know why I like it so much. I like the feeling of warmth inside of my heart when I drink. I like making other people happy, hearing their moans in bed. I like the feeling of me grinding on their crotch and them pushing up against me. I like what is slowly ruining me.

"All in moderation." Jessicas mum once said.

Jesse doesnt do moderation.