I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Twenty-Fith Chapter

My head feels like its full of bees and my whole self... Is just buzzing. I let out a long groan, long enough to cover a page of a speech.

It then floods back into my mind, like a tsunami. It shocks me, forcing my to sit up straight and fast. I open my eyes as I stop, realising that Im about half an inch from head-butting Patrick.

He slowly forces me to lie back down and I let him.

"How are you feeling. Im... Sorry about that." He takes a breath. "Joe hates himself more now, considering the fact you collapsed almost half an hour ago now."

He runs his hand through his hair and then moves down to adjust my fringe. I laugh as he attempts to adjust it from my eyes.

"You dropped like a fly after that performance. Petes currently searching on medical websites how its possible. Its kind of wild, you know?"

"Im just... Im just happy that Andy poured water on her." I chuckle.

"Yeah, that was good thinking on his behalf."

"Im glad its over, you know? Finally I can focus on sobering up and getting my life back on track."

Imagine me dropping a heavy back pack with my mum inside off that cliff.

"Also," Patrick lets a smile slip onto his lips. "you need to finish the wall."

The wall currently only has Pete, Patrick and Andy on it. Ill have to draw around Joe.

"I cant find anything reassuring!" pete shouts from next door.

"Im fine guys, just my body, it sucks." I laugh it off, attempting to sit up.

"Next time you collapse we are checking you out real time." Pete says, poking his head around the door and pointing his two fingers from his eyes to mine. "Maybe it was just the stress..."

I stand up, attempting to support myself with the edge of the sofa.

"Look, Im great. Good as new." I say with a grin. "Im just... You know... Starving."

"Andy is currently cooking. Joe, meanwhile, is currently sulking." Patrick points out.

Something else hits me. This hits me harder than a ton of bricks. The one thing keeping me from being on the street. Im not at work.

"What about work?" I ask panicked.

Patricks eyebrows knit. "Oh yeah... You work most weekdays..."

I fumble for my phone and call Jasmine. It rings 4 times before she answers.

"Jasmine?" I ask.

"Jesse, youve got it big time." She laughs. "Bitch face is currently looking around for you. I think youre going to be fired this time. You should come now or- oh wait. Yes? Okay, Ill pass it over."

I hold the phone away from my face in anticipation. I stare at it and count down.

I dont even need to put it near my face to hear what is shouted down the phone.

"Jesse, you are ungrateful." She shouts.

"Jesse, I cant believe you arent here!" She shouts.

"Many people want your job!" She shouts.

"Youre fired!" She shouts.

She hangs up and I pull a face at my phone.

Well, there goes my flat.

"What was that?" Patrick asks, walking to face me.

"That was the sound of me losing my flat and any income." I turn with a weird sort of smile.

"Oh."

"Its not a very pleasant sound. I better pack my stuff later today. Jasmine may offer half a bed."

"You know, we have a spare room here?"

"I wouldnt be able to pay you back or anything."

"We can talk about it after lunch."

"Guys, lunch!" Andy yells.

I raise my eyebrows at Patrick before passing him to the kitchen.

Jump back to when I was 10. My 10th birthday to be exact.

Sydney and I were in the park. We climbed onto the top of a hill. At the time this was a big thing, climbing the hill that is, and we reached the top with heavy breaths.

"Wow, you can really see school from here!" Sydneys soft nasal voice exclaimed.

And I would just stare out and around. I had been told the hour previous that doing dangerous things would not improve your life. But by then, Jessica was a house built from contradicting morals.

"Do you think we were made from the sky?" Sydney asks.

Flash forward to me asking Patrick the same question.

Flash forward to Pete saying things repeat.

Flash back to Jessica nodding at Sydney who is staring at the sky.

"Its like it goes on forever." Sydney beams.

Jessica peeks up at the wide sky and nods.

"You know, those clouds could be made from cotton candy and we wouldnt know..."

Memory.

"Or care."

After memory.

"I dont know. What do you think we are having for lunch?"

"Hey, Jesse?" Patrick asks.

"Sorry." I jump out of my haze.

"Should we start Joe now, or after therapy."

Id have to face Joe some day. Then again, Im not even that mad at him.

***

I sit on the floor and twirl the pencil like a baton between my fingers. Patrick is currently getting Joe.

"I bet you cant wait to see his sorry face." Andy chuckles.

I shrug, "He kind of ended an era, you know? Im not hiding anymore." I say.

I turn myself to look at him. He is sitting comfortably on the sofa, his soft grin playing on his lips.

"It wasnt even that scary."

"You passed out."

"My body sucks."

We both turn and look at the door as Patrick and Joe enter.

"Come on," Patrick says, "we just want to outline you. Cant feel sorry for yourself forever."

I look down into my lap awkwardly as Joe enters. It wasnt even that bad, its just awkward because he thinks it is.

"Jesse." Joe says softly. "Im sorry."