I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Sixty-Nineth Chapter

I sit up suddenly with a scream. It rips through my throat and echos around the room.

Was I just dreaming last night? Did last night happen?

"Hey?" Patrick rushes to my door. "You just screamed really loudly. Are you okay?"

My chest pounds and my breaths are clearly fast and erratic.

"Skye?"

My mouth drops open.

"What- what happened last night?" I ask.

I clutch my chest thinking the worst.

"You went up to the roof. You fell asleep up there and I took you back down here." Patrick answers, confused.

"No- no! It cant be." I mumble to myself.

I cling onto the bed covers and try and work out what was real and what wasnt.

"Thats it?" I ask.

"Thats all?" Patrick questions.

I shake my head. "I cant believe it." It was so perfect...

Jump forward to Pete.

"So Ive got these lyrics." I cross my legs.

He leans back on the sofa.

"Its basically a full song, but I need help. I dont have a title and its still rough."

I hand him the song with the rat a tats.

He scans over it and draws some lines.

"You could be a great song writer, you know that?" He smirks, looking up from the page.

I try and hide a blush. "Thats too nice of you."

"No really. We could use this."

Is this what I want to be remembered for?

"Have you got any other songs?"

I do. But its my favourite one yet. Im scared he wont like it.

"Or works in progress?"

"I mean." I mumble. "Possibly."

"Can I see it?"

"I dont know."

I look down at my hands, lacing them together.

"Its my favourite. What if you dont like it?"

I let my fringe fall into my face.

"What? I bet its great." Pete tries.

"Well. Dont say anything. You can jut read it."

"Okay. Hey Pat!"

In moments Patrick is next to Pete.

"Lets listen to this song Skye is about to read us." Pete smirks at Patrick.

"Youre a little shit, you know that?" I point at Pete before retrieving my page.

"So. Just dont say anything. Ill read it like a poem..." I start, standing in front of them, shuffling around.

They sit their like judges and I cough quietly.

"Until your breathing stops, forever.

(Make it sound like breathing.)

I need more dreams and less life.

I need this dark in a little more light.

And, I cried tears you have never seen.

So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean and leave me be.

You are what you love, not who loves you."

I have to stop for a second, to compose myself. I dont dare to look at them, just incase. I try to stop my knees quietly quaking.

"In a world full of the world yes Im here to scream...

No, no, where ever I go trouble seems to follow."

My palms are sweaty and I cling to the edges of paper. This song is the inside of my soul. It hurts ripping my soul open so suddenly when all Ive done is bare others.

"U- u- until..."

Suddenly I dont feel too well. Maybe the nerves are getting to me. Maybe Im hyperventilating.

I let myself fall down to my knees, letting tears roll down my face. I cant share this. Its too ugly for the world to see. My soul is dirty.

I take longer deeper breaths to stop my head spinning.

"Skye!" Someones voice finally reaches me.

I look up, my eyes drenched and cheeks red and blotchy.

"Whats going on, are you okay?" Patrick and Pete lean forward in concern.

I give them a look before shaking my head quickly.

Almost automatically Patricks arms open and I fall into them.

"That song is me." I cry into his chest. "I cant just share it so easily. Its dirty and deadly."

Patricks hand strokes my back slowly and I can hear Pete gathering the scattered papers on the floor.

"Lets not think about this. No opinions until youre ready."

I nod slowly. Its a messy song. Its disgusting.

"I have a surprise for later, Pete approved." Patrick says, playing with a lock of my fading blue hair.

I wipe a tear away slowly and try a smile.

"That song has to stay locked away for a little, please." I ask.

Pete and Patrick share a look. "Sure." They say.