I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Sixtieth Chapter

Jump back to a day.

One of those days.

A simple blip on the record of my life.

It was one day that I still think of and wish that every day could be so relaxed and calm.

Jump to Patrick sitting next to me in his favourite thinking place.

Its a week or so after Patrick first showed me this place.

"Pat?" I mumble.

"Mhm?" He turns to look at me.

Theres a cool breeze flowing towards me. I bet I look good, like a model in a wind fan.

"Where would we be if this never happened?" I ask. "Like, do you think you would be different?"

Patrick chuckles, smoothing his hands over his thighs.

"Because, you know, Id be dead."

"I dont know where Id be, honestly... But I wouldnt be here with you."

"I guess."

"Id be worse off too."

We dont really expand much further, just sitting in comfortable silence and watching the waves lap on the poles of the dock.

"Why did you ask?" Patrick turns to me after a while.

I shrug. "Im kind of glad Im not dead, you know? Maybe Im being sentimental, or maybe just attention seeking, but I feel like this whole conversation will be looked back on."

I think about it now, lying in the hospital bed.

The room is a dull grey white and the corner of the room is peeling slightly. This is a step down to say the least.

"Its temporary." Patrick mumbles, following my gaze to the edge of the wallpaper.

My eyes glaze as I feel the thumping in my side.

"They are going to drug you up soon."

His gaze wonders again and I clutch onto my side.

This is a recurring problem.

The doctor injects me several times in several places. I close my eyes as they do it and take breaths. Did I chose this? Really?

"When I look in her eyes, well I, just see the sky..." Patrick sings quietly.

The doctor is gone. Everything is in shuffled order and I cant tell who is coming and going.

"I dont love you Im just passing the time."

People come and go. The beeping slows and speeds.

"You could love me if I knew how to lie."

My whole body buzzes and I feel as high as the clouds.

"But who could love me I am out of my mind, throwing a line out to sea, to see if I can catch a dream."

Patrick brushes a hand down my arm, lightly.

"Lets hope this ends soon, Skye."

I look at his true blue and smile.

We get to leave eventually but Im not really with it, Im comatose and slightly wired. I glide from place to place as if on my own cloud.

I dont really know what happened, for all I know something big could have happened.

Jump to the morning.

An arm snaking around my waist.

Legs intertwined.

Slight thumping in my abdomen.

I groan.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about this." Someones morning voice mumbles.

For a minute I panic. Whos sexy morning grumble is it? What did I do?

"We didnt have sex by the way. You were scared again and-"

He continues and I look up to meet Patricks morning baby blue eyes.

After a while I place my hands over his around me and push them down and off me. I stand and walk backwards to the door, stopping in the frame.

I look at him lying in bed and bite on my lip before turning on my heels.