I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Fourty-Nineth Chapter

Jump back to one of the days in between. A day that was just a nice day. A day that had no significance and wasnt necessary to explain something that went wrong.

It was somewhere in between the day with Patricks interview clothes and a few day before I was hospitalised.

Its likely it wasnt on the day I was hospitalised or on the days I was in hospital.

But I dont really remember.

Patrick and I went to this nice place by the docks. Apparently it was the place Patrick went when he needed to calm down... Other than Petes house.

"I mean, nobody ever comes here" He tells me. "Its like this place is mine."

I look around. We are seated on a bench facing the water. If you fly tens of meters to one side or the other there are boats and docks. The boats are packed like puzzle pieces, their sails close to tangling. Where we are sitting, the water is clear of any boats, or, really, people.

"I think its a conservational zone or something. Nobody comes here because its not busy and seems a bit lonely."

The small dock is old and there is moss on the interlocking planks of wood. There is a single lonely bench which we are occupying, its off centre to the right just enough to make you uncomfortable.

"You know." I say. "Theres something very quiet and detached about this place. Why did you show me?"

He turns to look away from the calm water. He looks at me and sucks on his lip, leaving a small red mark in its place.

"This is like... Your place."

"Jesse," He starts. "I had to share to share it with some some time. It just had to be the right person."

I smile and look around again. I can feel Patricks eyes on me as I look around. The crooked wooden railing that just about stops anyone from falling off the edge. The sea gulls floating on the wind.

"You understand the beauty."

"Its funny how people never go to the empty places. Its as if this place is dangerous, theyre avoiding it."

"In a way Im glad. Means this place wont have to be refurbished."

I look back him and share a smile.

"It stays how it was ten years ago, just gaining age slightly, like I am."

He sighs as if he is uncomfortable and he shuffles, knocking on my leg.

"Sorry." He laughs awkwardly.

"Whats the problem?" I ask, searching for his eyes.

"Its just. I told all my secrets to this place. The old ones that didnt matter and were childish included. I even yelled and let go of my anger here. You just... You could never see it. It didnt leave a mark."

"Surely thats a good thing?"

"Its as if I was never here at all. This place is part of me, almost. It just gets to me. Im not going to leave my mark."

People are obsessed with leaving something to be remembered by.

Patrick tilts his hat with one hand, sucking on the same spot on his lip again.

"Everyone has that fear... You know that? You have left more of a mark on peoples lives and on music than the majority of people in this world."

He looks up to meet my eyes.

"Maybe it matters more who you effect rather than how much you effect everything. Theres are more people than I could name out there that admire and love you. People have posters of you in their rooms!"

Jump back to my room with my posters of Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco.

"You have saved peoples lives. Thats a big thing."

A smile spreads on his lips. "You know how to make people feel better..." He chuckles.

"Im just pointing out the obvious!"

He pauses on my face, taking a moment, before grabbing me in a hug.

"Oof." He knocks the wind out of me and I immediately hug back.

"Thanks."

What a soppy moment. A perfect hug perfectly timed.

***

A/N

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