I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Fifteenth Chapter

The next morning, at work, Jasmine tries talking to me again.

"The old couple are here again." She mumbles, standing close to me.

"But then again, when are they not?" I say with a grin.

"What happened to you yesterday after work? Why are you smiling so much?"

Its like she isnt used to me being even slightly happy. I turn to look at her, she stands closer than comfortable.

"Well," I say. "I... Urm... Spat vodka into someones face by accident and then... Its hard to explain. But for once, I had fun."

She nods, attempting to not mind. I can see her start to miss me and I havent even left. Her look gets cut off by the old couple asking for the bill.

"So, that will be 30 dollars please. Cash or card?" Jasmine stands, leaning on one leg, her hip popping skywards.

Theres a new damp patch on the ceiling from goodness knows where. The door is slightly looser on its hinges. This place is still a wreck. Meanwhile, you could say, Im slightly less of a wreck.

I bite on my lip and lean on the table, letting myself to be absorbed into my own head.

There was something else that Jessicas mum told her.

"Dont mess up. If you mess up you have to go and start again. There is no room for mistakes." She said one day, tucking Jessica into bed.

Jessica took this as one of her morals. The first moral being 'leave a perfect imprint in society, be remembered well'.

But if you look ahead to when she turned 18 you see she took it to heart one last time. She left and started again, because she messed up.

From then I took another moral; make the biggest mistake you can think to make. The biggest mistakes lead to the biggest adventures. Like Christopher Columbus sailing to the edge of the world, like Flemming and his bread mold. Make a mistake and see where it takes you.

Jessicas mum had a tendency for being wrong and ignorant. Jessica didnt.

"Hey! Wakey wakey!" Jasmine waves her hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, I just got a bit..." I trail off.

"Where were we? I dont remember... Lets continue. So, tonight. Are you in for tonight?"

I press my lips together. Am I in for tonight?

"Its going to be great?"

"Only if I stay sober. No drinking for me." I say.

"Deal."

Jasmine holds her hand out and I take it. We shake on it. How trivial.

I think that Jasmine could become a hand model. Her fingers long and thin, palms soft and her wrists small and delicate.

I look at my hand and drop it to my side.

"If I get drunk, what happens then?" I question.

Jasmines plump lips purse as she looks at the sky. "You get 100 bucks. But if you stay sober, you have to keep an eye out for me. Just that night though."

"Okay then."

That night I walk into the club sober, and attempt to leave sober too.

I wonder around with Jasmine and its all great until I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, I slept with you the other day didnt I?"

Thats a great intro. I totally remember now! I turn to see who it is as theres a range of options. Blondie the beginner.

"Long time no see!" I joke.

He nods. "After you started crying I was sure Id never see you again."

What a charmer. "Yeah well... You know me."

He doesnt. I bet he doesnt know my name.

I wait for him to fill in, but he is still trying to understand my joke. This would be better if we were both drunk.

"Well, Jessica, Ill see you later." He says.

I almost choke on my own breath. "scuse me?"

"Ill see you later?"

"What did you call me?"

"Jessica."

"That! THAT! That. Is. Not. My. Name."

I feel my stomach twist. He apologises. "Sorry?"

"My name is Jesse, not Jessica." Besides me Jasmine is radiating confusion.

"Ah right, sorry, Jesse... Later then!"

"Bye... Steve?" I guess his name.

"Its Steven, but thats a nice nickname."

He winks before turning away.

"Scuse me?" Jasmine turns to face me. "What am I missing?"

I shrug, turning and walking into a crowd. Walking into the fire would be a good comparison. Hot and sweaty. People shouting, sometimes, others collapsing and spasming.

"You arent telling me a lot right now?" Jasmines heels clack in time with the music.

"I dont know a lot. I was drunk." I lie.

"Right. Well, lets just enjoy tonight, shall we?"

I tried to enjoy the evening, but when you arent as drunk as others, or drunk at all, things arent as fun. You miss the joke that doesnt exist and find drunk people as obnoxious as they actually are.

I return home that evening slightly sadder than I would normally. Its not too much fun being sober. You could say its a mistake being sober. Thats why I have to stay sober.