I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Twenty-second Chapter

"I cant see you today, Fall out boy have a photo shoot"

Those words end my hopes of a successful day.

"Oh." I say, putting on a smile.

"But Ill text you at lunch and maybe we can meet up if youre in the area?"

"Okay."

Jump forward twenty minutes, Ive decided to go into town and towards the docks. I sit at the back of the bus patiently as we trundle down the road.

A lady in front of me with a frosted whip hair-do and wrinkles deep enough to hold rivers, clings onto a huge wad of papers. To her right, an old grey man with a bow tie and a merry aura holds her hand. If I wasnt so caught up in going to the docks I would have gotten off the bus, I believe these may be my parents. Why are they in Chicago?

My heart races as they sit obliviously in front of me. Its like they know its me, they can sense my breathing.

I see the docks on my right, meaning its time for me to get off. I stand and walk to the doors as calmly as I can.

"Excuse me, maam?" My mum asks.

I turn and look at them. They look so much more worn. They look tired.

"Please take this leaflet, our daughter disappeared about 4 and a half years ago and we are still desperate to find her."

Im tempted to say "what if she left for a reason?" or "your daughter probably wasnt kidnapped". But instead I take the flyer and make eye contact. My own parents dont recognise me.

"We were told that she has been seen in Chicago so we are checking it out." My dad smiles.

I nod and smile, clinging onto the leaflet.

"Good luck." I say.

I get off the bus and watch as the bus drives away.

I storm into a nearby park and drop by a tree, falling to my side. I lie face flat on the floor and water the plants.

My own parents dont recognise me. I stared them in the face and they didnt even falter.

I also feel guilty. I dug the stress lines deep in my mums face. I wore down my dads attitude. I feel so horribly guilty.

I curl up in on myself on the warm grass.

I hold the page they gave me by my face. It has a picture of me from 6 years ago and my face is all squinty and shiny. It has a paragraph about what I look like and locations Ive been seen. Its my life displayed on paper. Its my horrible life on paper.

I let myself lie on the grass for a while more. I try to be absorbed into the ground.

I should probably go, think of this later.

I walk down by the river. Sea gulls surf on the breeze, the water ebbs and flows up to the pier and away. The whole area smells like open air and salt.

I stroll down by the edge and go where my feet carry me.

This is the first day in a while that Ive done something like this.

"Excuse me miss?" Someone asks from behind me.

I swallow hard and spin on my heels. I greet the small old lady with a smile.

"I cant help but notice you look uncanny to the girl on this sheet." She hold up the missing poster with my face on it.

I twist my lip ring with my tongue.

"Well," I start. "my folks are at home right now. Also, I dont dress like her. Maybe you are mistaken."

The old lady adjusts her huge glasses and leans forward to look at me.

"Did you know that there are seven people in the world that look just like you?" I try.

The lady furrows her eyebrows and all her wrinkles change place.

"Its a complement that you said I look like her though, she is pretty."

She shakes her head, her net of white hair swishing about. "Well, deary, I apologise. Lets hope her parents find her soon."

With that she totters off, down the pier. Old ladies are too trustworthy.

I try to keep my mouth from dropping open at the shock. I know better.

I keep walking along for a while. I lose myself in the new scenery and the soft wind. Its nice to get lost every now and then.

I hear some noises and see a small crowd up ahead. I wonder who are there...

The wall of teenagers waving things block my view as I try to see who is standing there with the huge flash lights on them.

"Who is it?" I ask to the teenager at the back.

"Its Fall Out Boy!" She grins.

I remember being her age. It was so simple then.

I take my phone and text Patrick.

/I can see you!/

\Come say hey then?\

/theres a mob of teenagers in the way/

"Jesse?" Patrick shouts out.

I raise my hand up and wave it.

"Let her through please."

I get sucked through the crowd until Im at the front. Patrick grabs my hand and pulls me onto set.

"How come you found us?" He asks.

Andy and Joe are currently having photos done. I turn back to face Patrick. "I was just chilling in the area and then... There was the crowd. The whole sea vibe is pretty relaxing, isnt it?"

"Yeah, I love Lake Michigan. Its a really magical place. Petes currently over there. So when I go back on you can chill with him."

I nod and smile. Joe and Andy pull a funny face.

"Patrick?" I ask, quietly.

"Mhm?" He replies, not completely concentrating.

I take my finger and direct his attention back to me. "There are suddenly people stopping me. Its worrying, Patrick. I saw my parents and they didnt recognise me. Apparently they heard from someone that Im in the area."

My eyes flick between his. I hope he can see how big this is. His mouth drops open. He presses his hand over it.

"But... They looked me in the eye and didnt recognise me."

Patrick places his hand on my bicep. "We can work out who knows."

I nod, smoothing my hair down.

Just when things get better, you can bet they will only get worse.

I keep calm, as people are watching us right now, yelling questions at Patrick.

"Look," Patrick says. "I gotta go back. Talk to Pete and we can work this out after."

We can work this out after. But after what?