I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Sixty-Third Chapter

When I wake, I feel drowsy and thoroughly drugged. I groan and roll over in bed.

Wait, bed?

I sit up slowly and stretch.

Im in my room, obviously.

I cant really remember what happened yesterday... Or before that... Its all fuzzy.

I remember Sydney though... I remember her death. I remember my life before that.

I scratch at my head. This is weird. I know something happened between Sydney and this moment. Several months, even.

The door opens and my dad walks in. He smiles and sits at the edge of the bed. He looks like he always has been; slightly worn out yet still gregarious.

"How are you feeling, youve been ill for a while..." He smiles.

I look down at my hands and smooth them across the sheets. Theres a white block attached to my wrist.

Whats that about?

"Im still ill, I suppose." I say carefully. "I can barely think..."

"Ill leave you to sleep then." He grins and I nod, letting him leave.

There are whispers outside the door.

I lie back down, my head is spinning and my whole body aches.

Across the room my posters are still slightly wonky. I smile at my Patrick Stump poster.

If I ever met him...

Thank GOD I have some self control.

My mum knocks on the door and pokes her head around the corner.

I get a sour feeling.

"Im glad that you have woken up." My mum smiles.

She seems sly. Theres something wrong.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I mumble.

She nods and leaves again.

I decide to search around my room again. I search through my draws until I find my Ipod.

Wow, Ive neglected this for a while...

I pick it up and put in my earphones. Ive got the new Fall Out Boy album... I dont remember downloading that?

I read through the list until something catches my eye. I choose 7 Minutes In Heaven and sit back down on my bed.

Im sleeping my way out of this one,

with anyone who will lie down.

I find myself humming along to Patrick Stumps perfect voice.

What I would pay...

"Jessica?" Someone shouts up the stairs.

Jessica? Yeah... Jessica... Thats me.

"We have guests!"

I flick my ipod off and change into a paisley dress.

It doesnt fit the same as before.

"Jessica!" The voice shouts again.

I tie my hair up and run down the stairs.

There is another family downstairs, a man and a woman.

The man and woman look like a perfect couple.

The womans hair is like a models, and her face bright and youthful.

The man looks like a masculine ken doll, and he looks smitten for this girl.

"These are our new neighbours. Cindy and Matt." My mum smiles sweetly.

I shake theirs hands and return to my mums side.

"Do you want a coffee?" She asks Cindy and Matt.

"Please." Cindys voice is like smooth cream.

We sit on the sofa and I cant help but notice the references to our family being content and being the perfect family.

My mum hesitates to places her arm around me before grabbing me in a mother daughter hug.

"Im sure you are still very ill and tired, Jessica. Please, return to your bed." My dad sends me away after a while.

"Night." I smile. "Nice to meet you, Cindy and Matt."

I wave before returning upstairs and replugging in my ipod.

I keep telling myself

I keep telling myself

Im not the desperate type

But you got me thinking it

I hum along and dance around the room.

"I dont do too well on my own." I sing at my Patrick Stump poster.

Something itches in my mind as I sing and dance around my room. Something meaningful and familiar about the lyrics.

I give up and return to my bed.