I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Fifty-First Chapter

"What?" I laugh at him.

"What was that. You guys had more passion than I do with Meagan." Pete leans towards me inquisitively.

"We what?" The blush has permanently booked a room.

"I could feel the sexual tension and... Passion... Is love the right word?"

"Good one Pete."

"I wanted to be you guys, alone with someone special in a crowded room."

I pause, putting my hand to my chest.

"Ever since I first opened the door to you 3 inches from me I knew you had something with him."

"Its nothing." I dismiss.

"Sure." He laughs.

I step back.

My hearts made of rubber because stone breaks too easily.

"Come back when you arent drunk." I laugh, backing away.

"Youll come to your senses." I can barely hear Pete as I back away.

He talks nonsense a lot...

That night as I lie in bed I think about the song and dancing with Patrick.

Thats a pretty cool song. The lyrics and catchy riffs echo through my head.

Suddenly the door bursts open and light floods in. Patrick stands for a moment, his body outlined by the light. Then he is running at me and I roll over, off the bed.

I didnt mean to fall off the bed, obviously.

I drop to the floor and scramble to my feet.

"Oh shit what do you want?" I yell.

He stops suddenly. He is on the edge of my bed, leaning forward off towards me. I keep my back against the wall and he is sitting like a tiger.

"Oh my GOD what do you want?" I gasp.

We stand silently for a moment, everything hovers. Suddenly his hands come up towards me, clinging onto something.

Its a pillow.

"What?" I gasp.

The pillow hits me and makes a soft thumping sound. He pauses, we are in silence again.

"Are you kidding me." I mumble.

We are frozen again.

In a split second I grab my pillow and chase him into the dimly lit living room, pounding his back with my pillow. He squeaks as I hit him.

We reach the sofa and he trips over it, rolling to lie on it.

He defends himself with his pillow as I climb on to him, pounding him with my pillow.

"Why. Are. We. Doing. This. Its. Like. 3. A. M!" I say between blows to Patrick.

"I couldnt sleep so I thought Id start some harmless fun." He laughs, holding his pillow up to defend himself.

I scootch further up his body to get better aim. We are both laughing as he tries to defend himself.

Suddenly he goes slack and I check if he is okay.

"This. Is. War!" Patrick yells, pushing me off him, onto the floor.

I screech as I hit the floor and Patrick is suddenly getting revenge. I stand up quickly and we take turns to thwack each other with pillows.

"Youre going down!"

I step forward to throw my pillow forward towards him.

"Youre dead feathers, Patty boy!" I reply, swinging it into his side.

He aims for my side and knocks me onto the floor, ontop of another pillow. I start to stand but Patrick jumps on me, pushing me down.

"You cant escape! Ive won!" Patrick grins like a child.

Patricks hands pin my arms down as he straddles my waist and we stop for a moment, looking in on the situation.

Our breaths are heavy and our chests rise and fall like clockwork.

"I think you got me." I gasp.

His hands clasp onto my wrists, rubbing our skin together.

The silence is tense.

I roll to the side, pushing him off me.

He lies next to me, our heads touching lightly.

"Why did you do that? Its early morning." I ask.

"Do you ever just... Feel the need to make something of nothing... To have memories to look back on?" Patrick replies.

"Yes?"

"Im just the man on the balcony singing nobody will ever remember me." He sings lightly.

I turn my head to look at him and he copies.

"I dont know... I just..." Patrick sighs. "I just want to be something but Im the ghost of nothing."

I take in his face. His facial features have sagged a little with sadness.

"I only want what I cant have." If you jump forward a month you can hear me saying that... But thats still a month away.

His lips are chapped and his cheeks red tinted. He sighs, running his hands over his face.

"You know," I say. "you have a better chance of being something than most of the world. To be honest... Youve already made it."

He licks over his lips.

"Patrick," I take a breath. "whats your biggest fear?"

His eyes wonder for a moment. He is deciding to tell me.

Tonight his eyes are grey.

"Being left behind." He states.

His eyes glisten and I can hear the fridge humming.

"Being forgotten."

I just watch him, not sure on what to say.

What should I not do?

"Its a petty fear-" Patrick starts.

"Everyone is scared of something. Some have more fears than others." I state.

"Then... Whats your biggest fear?"

Now, I have to consider this. My biggest fear or the most relevant one of the moment?

"Me?" I chuckle.

The air is thick as I try and to keep my cool.

"You."