I Dont Do Too Well On My Own

The Fifty-Fourth Chapter

As soon as the front door closes I jump from my bed and fly down the stairs.

"Pete, you still here?" I shout, running into the living room.

"Yep." He pops the 'P'.

He is sitting, slumped casually, on the sofa.

I jump on him in a hug.

"I know what youre thinking." Pete has a smirk in his voice.

"I kind of want to cry." I mumble into his shoulder.

Just think, raining on my parade.

"But Im scared Pete."

He lets go of me and I sit next to him on the sofa. I turn to face him.

"There are too many ways this could go wrong."

"Honestly, though. Just let it go wrong." Pete manages to smile.

"Why would I do that?"

"It makes things become more interesting, and it may not go wrong. Just let what is meant to happen happen!"

I stop giving him a look and brush my hair out my face.

"Pete." I start.

"Skye." Pete seems fairly unaffected by the whole situation and I envy that.

"What... What are you scared of? What is that one thing that sends you quaking?"

Pete licks over his lips.

"What gets you... Scared."

"Youre not going to use it against me, are you?" He asks.

I laugh at his response. "No."

"What scares me? It changes. Sometimes it is exposure to the public or not having privacy. Some times its that my friends will be hurt in some way. Im not scared of a lot, others are though."

Petes hand traces the holes in his jeans.

"So, I just want everything to be okay... But I know everything happens for a reason and all those cheesy lines. I believe in what people know and believe they know. Because nothing is certain and if society understood that they would fall apart in days. They are stuck believing in what they want to."

Pete looks up to check Im following. His big brown eyes scan my expression before they look back down.

"If you just let things happen it makes a better story to tell and look back on. Dont freak yourself out trying to control things, stuff will go the way its meant to. This has become more of an advice session than explaining what I fear."

He laughs, shuffling in his place.

"But, honestly, from one week to another its a new fear. At one point it was everything. That was a dark time. I feared everything and had enough mental breakdowns to make it a casual occurrence. I dont take any more depression drugs or anything. They are placebos."

I sit and just breathe and listen. He has a lot to say.

"I mean, honestly, its all due to go wrong at some point, its also due to get better. So just wait a little bit and it all will get better."

"Good advice Pete." I start with a smile.

"Just remember that everything is temporary. Catch each moment like a comet and let it burn in your pocket. Each moment only lasts a few seconds but you will remember them for many years to come. Both bad and good things fly by, sometimes you dont notice."

"Youre full of useful morals."

"Maybe I am. What do you fear?"

I freeze. What do I currently fear? What gets my heart going like a stop watch?

"Return the favour."

"Getting hurt, but Im past that. I mean honestly." I lift up my top to show my red angry scar. "Hurting someone. Getting my heart broken. Not doing what I want to do before I die. Disappointing people... Patrick in general..." He laughs, shaking his head. "What, you want a list?"

He tilts his head, reading me.

"Human touch is a problem. Alcohol too... Everything to be honest. Everything can be a problem. I dont know. Summarise it as Patrick."

I trace over my freckles on my arms.

"Because... Because... He makes me want to be a better person. I dont know how to say this Pete. He makes me want to impress him so he will like me. I dont know..."

Pete sighs. "Temporary."