Chosen One (TaeNie, NamJen, YoonNie)

11

- Jennie

We are here at the Lotte family concert.
A lot of people are in, groups are attending.

"We're going to air at five minutes."
       One of the staff informed.

Our managers and stylists nodded.

Our stylist finished my ponytail and let me rest for a moment.

All the staff went out and even the three girls who waved at me signaling me to go with them already, but I shook my head and starred at myself...

"Perform as if all of the people loves you."

I kept on telling this to myself internally.
I know, some of the BLINKs hate one or two members, or even three because they stan not all of us four.

It is actually shameful, painful and rude.

And usually, not only the bashers but also the one stan fans are going to give negative comments once a member did a mistake...

"And usually...it is me."

I had trained for six years straight.
I had been the potential leader if it's debated that we don't need it.

I am called as YG's ace and princess, YG's favorite and that I am the spoiled one.

One time, I reacted on forgetting my line, I crouched, sat on my legs and hid my face on my knees in front of the crowd.

I forgot the whole lyrics of my rap part and thought of the Japanese lyrics and almost everyone called me unprofessional because of that already.

They don't know how much of a hard time I had before getting into this position. No one knows that I am some kind of ill for those few performances.

There are those performances that I will suddenly feel dizzy, it is either because I am tired or I am literally sick already.

But despite of dizziness, tiredness, I still will be performing. Yet, people will still call me unprofessional.

I wish they could see my days before...
I wish they will be able to watch the old me...
And I wish they can be at the same shoes as me even just for a day.

After this event, I have another event to attend, Chanel's event. For some times, I want to be called versatile by those crowd who called me unprofessional.

Because just one failure...
They will hate me already.

"Jennie-ssi, it is your turn ready."
         The staff called me from the door and I mustered out a smile before walking with her to the backstage.

Our entrance will be coming from the under of the stage. We went there and waited for a second until...

The stage moved up and revealed us.

First song, As If It's Your Last.

"Don't make a mistake."

I sang and performed well for the my part...
Yet when it is Jisoo eonnie's part, I felt something on my back that made me stop and fix it. I had cope up after that yet...

I felt so scared...
I suddenly felt scared...

People...
People will be going to judge me again.

"Continue, Jennie, just continue."

I internally commanded myself and composed my thoughts for a while.

Approximately, more than ten minutes and you'll be out of this stage again.

We continued performing...
After As If It's Your Last is Stay, free from having a dance mistake or position mistake, I need to be watchful of my lyrics now.

One...two...three minutes and I have completed performing Stay without getting into trouble on myself.

One more song...

Forever Young.

We are in the middle of our performance...
Yes, the stage is very clear and Blinks are cheering but my eyes caught a person beside me.

Organizer, a staff.

She gestured the DJ to stop the music and I stopped as it stopped.

The three remained dancing, thinking that what happened about the music is just a techno failure but then suddenly, Jisoo eonnie walked backwards...

Eyes a little wide, confusion must ate her.
Lisa caught it too and stopped after few seconds...
Then, the staff needs to go infront of Rosè to make her stop.

We all stopped and...
The staff whispered to us that we can't continue due to that a lot of people are still outside.

I was thinking...

"If they are late, then they are late. This thing is really inappropriate."

But we can't complain, we are just performers.

"Yet that was really shameful."

I saw how devastated Lisa looked though she kept smiling. My sense caught the sudden change of aura that surrounds Chaeyoung. And there's Jisoo eonnie, even before we had reached the back stage, she waved her hands and smiled at Blinks.

We went straight back to the dressing room.
I sighed and looked at myself again.

"That's ouch."
       Jisoo eonnie commented.

"I agree."
      Lisa lay herself down to the couch and agreed.

"Those instances will really happen, let's not blame the staffs...maybe those who are outside are just really complaining, probably, that made them stop us from performing."
        What happened made me feel tired...

Yet I stated those words, because I know how it will feel if we called the people unprofessionals.

"Jennie, I will pull you out of the event after an hour, you need to fix yourself, two hours and the Chanel event will start."
        Our manager is rushing for something, he is sweating and panting before he left...

I just nodded and stood up to change my clothes as our stylist handed me what I will wear.

The three ladies looked at me with a motivating smile...
I mustered out a smile and...

Made my way to change my clothes.

💎💎💎

A:   This chapter is honestly(I admit) ineffectual, sorry.