Pretty Girls ⇼ Luke Hemmings

Now What?

I waited hours for Luke to reply, but he never did. Around 5pm, I dozed off and was awoken by a knock on my door. It was nearly midnight and Lea wasn't home. I checked my phone, ignoring the texts I had from Luke and scrolled to Lea's name. She told me she'd come back when I was done talking to Luke, but never got the confirmation so she never showed up. The knocking at my door sounded again and I cursed to myself, nearly forgetting that someone was at the door. I pulled myself out of bed, soothing my wrinkled skirt and opened up the door to see Luke. His hair was wet and he was dressed in a white shirt with black skinny jeans.

"I'm sorry, I was at work and I didn't see the texts until I got home then I had to let Petunia out and I took a shower because I didn't think you'd want me coming here smelling like raw meat and-" he rambled on, but I cut him off by stepping aside and opening the door wider for him to come in. I was too tired to talk to him about always showing up late. Once he was inside my room, I closed the door and turned on my lamp, sitting on my bed. Luke grabbed my desk chair and sat in front of me, his eyes beaming into mine. "Did you fall asleep in your clothes?" he asked, but he already knew the answer to it.

I nodded anyways, rubbing my eyes and likely smearing my mascara, but I didn't care. It was already smeared from the crying I did when I saw the video. Luke ran his hands through his wet hair, setting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward, intertwining his fingers.

"You wanted to talk?" He prompted, his eyes full of hope.

"I wanted to talk about the music video." My voice was slow. I wasn't sure what I wanted to say, I haven't thought that far ahead.

"You saw it?" His face lit up.

"Lea says that people write about what they're afraid of... And I realize that all this time, I'm writing about love. Maybe I'm scared of falling in love." I told him and his face twisted with confusion, not sure what I was getting at. "And you wrote about losing me..." My voice trailed off.

"Because I'm scared to lose you." He finished the sentence for me, his eyes finding the ground. "I guess I'm still hoping it's not too late, that I haven't lost you quite yet." I wanted to tell him that it wasn't too late, that he still had me, but I couldn't. I still needed answers. Now was my time to ask him anything I wanted, and he'd have to answer.

"I just don't get why you didn't tell me... If it stopped, if you only took that one, why didn't you tell me about it?" He was silent for a long while before finally sighing.

"I don't know. I tried to, but when I opened my mouth to speak, I couldn't bear to hear your response. I never thought it would come out, and I thought it'd stay a secret forever." He still didn't meet my eyes, but I wanted to look into his to see if he was telling the truth.

"That doesn't answer my question." I crossed my arms over my chest and he pursed his lips.

"I didn't tell you because I knew it would hurt you. I care about you... More than words can say... And I knew that if I told you, I would have lost you. And I did, didn't I?" His eyes finally met mine and I saw how red they were. Had he been crying?

"Why did you do it?" I asked, ignoring the redness around his blue orbs.

"It's just what I did with girls. I never respected anyone like I respected you. I never cared about anyone like I care about you. When I realized how much I cared, I wanted to take it back but I couldn't." He tried to reach forward, but I pulled away.

"Do you still do cocaine?" I asked out of nowhere. I'd wanted to know since we met, but I never had the chance. Now was my chance.

"No." I didn't suspect any hint of lying in his tone.