Falling From It Again

88

CHERYL's POINT OF VIEW

After the other day with Shemar and all of the things he said about me possibly lying to him...

I felt even worse than I did the day before though.

This wasn't the way I planned for anything to go but living in this guilt daily is something that I can't bare.

I'm hurting people and they don't even know it.

Today, I stayed home. I would usually go over Shemar's house to hang out with him but...after lying to him? Being around him is hard.

So, I kept my distance for a while. Today, I'm gonna stay home, take a nap, smile, make myself something for lunch and try my best to take my mind off of all of the things that have been happening lately.

While I was on the couch close to fully closing my eyes to go to sleep, I heard somebody unlock the front door and they walked in.

I really need to get my key from Shemar.

I sighed. "Shemar what are you doing here?" I said as I pulled the blanket off of me and stood up. Once I stood up, I saw Tony standing there. Not Shemar. "Oh, hey baby. You're home early." I said as I looked at him.

"Yeah...I...uh, wanted to come home for lunch." He said as he looked at me. "Why uh...did you think that I was Shemar?" He asked me as he raised his eyebrow at me.

"Oh, that's because sometimes he just pops up unannounced." I said as I looked down at the blanket on the couch.

"He doesn't have a key though." Tony said as he lightly laughed.

"Oh, yeah. Right." I said as I sat down on the couch and avoided eye contact.

"Anyways, how are you? How's the baby? I haven't asked that question in a while." He said as he walked over towards the couch and sat down next to me.

"I've been fine. The baby has been fine too...I guess."

"Why did you say I guess?" He asked me.

"I-...I don't know. As far as I know, the baby is fine and the doctor said that everything is looking good." I told him.

"You're nervous. I know you are. However, this is our third child...it's not like you haven't done this before, right?" He asked me.

"You're right, I am nervous. Also, yeah- I don't know why I'm trippin' because I've done this twice already. I just feel different with this baby..."

"And why is that?" He asked me as he put his arm around me and then kissed my cheek.

"I don't know. This baby is just different. That's all I know." I assured him.

"Maybe that's not a bad thing. Different is good."

"I agree."

"I've been wondering why you haven't asked me to go to any of the appointments for the baby..." He then brought up.

"Baby, you've gotta work and I just didn't wanna bother you, you know what I mean? I didn't want you to have to take off work and come with me just to check up on the baby-..." I said but he cut me off before I could finish.