Falling From It Again

Sixty

"Damn, We've been fucking that many times?"
That's the quote of the week, son. 🤣

CHERYL's POINT OF VIEW

The numbness that I was feeling....I've never felt it before in my entire life until this day.

I made this choice.

This was my choice.

It was a heated moment. Yet, the look in his eyes made the moment even more heated. My best friend...my lover....my "If only we could be together" but we both know that we can't but hesitated and thought that we could. Being irresponsible and not doing the things that we should have...lead us to this- a baby that he doesn't even want. All of this makes me question if he even wants me....

Is it right for me to do this?

Especially to my innocent child who didn't even...ask for all of this.

These were my lies. I wasn't gonna let my unborn child suffer for what I....did. I was gonna have to marinate in my own lies and speak the truth.

I couldn't do it. 

"And, let's begin. Relax, Okay?" She told me.

"No, no, no- I change my mind!" I said as I rushed to sit up.

"Okay...well, at least you changed your mind before anything could be done. Are you sure that this is your choice?" She asked me even more.

I nodded my head.

"I just can't do it..." I said as I started to cry. I can't believe that I came this far to actually doing something that I wouldn't think of doing in my entire life. How could I?

This is MY child and I was gonna have to deal with all of this.

"I'll leave you be. Seems like you need some time to gather yourself. I'll be back to check on you- including a few nurses." She told me.

(I honestly don't know how this stuff goes 🤷🏾‍♀️ I'm just writing whatever I think happens.)

"Okay. Thank you." I said as I wiped my eyes and nodded my head.

Once she left, I put my face in my hands and just continued to cry. My soul felt so dirty for what I was about to do. My baby was almost...gone and I was making the choice to make it go away. Even if I did have the abortion, It wouldn't solve my problems. Tony would be devastated and Shemar would be so, so, so upset with me. Shemar would probably cry his entire life out after he found out that he no longer had a child anymore. Then, Tony, he knowing the truth- he'd be confused on as to why I did this but mostly just be heartbroken.

As I continued to cry, I heard somebody in the hallway yelling. It sounded so much like Shemar but I brushed it off. He doesn't even know that I was here.

5 seconds later, he bursted through the door yelling "Don't do it!" but after he saw me sitting there, he just stared at me. His eyes were red, puffy and damp from all of the crying that he had done.