Sanders Sides Oneshots and Short Stories

NERF WAR

Requested.

Ship: Romantic CALM'D

Category: Fluff

Warnings: None

Summary: Roman and Patton stage a game in the Mindscape.

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

Virgil was planning to relax on Sunday. Even he couldn't think of anything for anyone to be worried about, and so he had eaten breakfast and flopped himself on the couch to watch some TV.

It was noon when that peace was disturbed.

A sudden, heavy weight landed on his chest with a thump. He jumped up with a squeak of surprise, rubbing his chest. Sitting innocently on the couch was a large, plastic nerf gun, with a piece of paper taped to it.

The game is on. Play or be eliminated.
-R&P💘

Virgil sighed. This couldn't end well. Resigning himself to his fate, Virgil picked up the nerf gun and walked into the kitchen, where he climbed expertly to the top of the fridge to wait.

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

Knock knock knock.

Without looking up from his stack of papers, Logan called, "The door's unlocked."

Creak. Thump. Click.

Logan glanced over to the door to find a plastic gun and a note stuck to it. Another one of Roman's silly games, it appeared. He skimmed over the note and groaned. Normally, he would allow himself to be easily defeated by his boyfriends, but something sparked inside of him. Something like... competition. Time to win.

He eased his door open silently, and crept down the stairs. He'd catch then from the kitchen.

As soon as he stepped foot into the kitchen, a foam dart smacked into the side of his head. Bewildered, he whipped around to see Virgil, crouched on top of the fridge, dark eyes alight with manic triumph.

"You're out, Lo," Virgil hissed gleefully. "And now for the others..."

Logan sighed. Even when he tried, he lost. Oh well. There was work to get back to anyway.

Suddenly, a hand gripped his collar and yanked him backwards. His boyfriend peered down at him.

"Don't go anywhere," Virgil whispered, grinning. "I'm gonna win."

¶∆¶∆¶∆¶

Deceit really hadn't prepared for this. This was not part of his job description. Nope.

When Patton had thrust a nerf gun into his hands and murmured, "run", then took off down the hall, he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Was this some sort of Mindscape ritual they were forcing him to take part in?

All he knew was how to squeeze the trigger. He had shot at a few inanimate objects after thinking he saw them move.

Needless to say, he was on edge.

Slinking into the living room like the snake he was, Deceit clutched the gun tightly, knuckles white. Was it to the death? He didn't know how to kill with foam. A knife, sure. But foam darts? Nothing made sense.

A flash of purple to his left made him whirl around and pull the trigger several times, eyes squeezed shut. When he opened them, Logan was staring at him, unamused, with five darts tangled in his hair and clinging to his tie. He held Virgil's hoodie in one hand.

"I was already out," Logan muttered sullenly. "I didn't sign up for this."

"Sorry," Deceit said.

"Dee."

Deceit turned to see Virgil, dark eyes shining and gripping a nerf gun tightly.

"Allies?"

Deceit nodded. "Is there any particular reason Morality and Creativity are doing this?"

Virgil snorted. "Hell if I know. And you can use their names, you know."

"While this conversation is quite engaging, I think we have company," Logan piped up.

Everyone fell silent and followed Logan's gaze to the staircase, where Roman stood, grinning broadly and holding a nerf gun of his own.

"THIS IS WAR!" Roman shouted, leaping off the stairs and landing in front of them. A flurry of darts flew from his direction, narrowly missing them as everyone dropped to the floor. Instead, several darts hit Patton, who had been creeping up behind them.

"Sorry Padre!" Roman apologized, and in that instant, Deceit shot him. The foam dart clung to his forehead as Roman gaped in surprise.

"Ha!" Deceit crowed, then winced as a dart collided with the side of his head. Virgil smirked.

"I win."

"Winner gets kisses!" Roman cried suddenly, lunging at Virgil and pressing their lips together. Virgil made a muffled sound of protest, but then leaned into it, smiling slightly.

"Affection. Disgusting." Deceit made to go back to his room when Logan grabbed his wrist, spun his around, and kissed him. Patton squealed with delight and pressed a kiss of his own to Deceit's scales.

Moments later, all five of them were on the ground, pressing kisses to each others faces and laughing. Virgil flopped on top of Roman, mumbling about being the rightful winner. Logan and Patton sat down next to them, smiling, and Deceit was somehow pulled into the center of it all, with warm lips meeting his own every few minutes.

And he definitely didn't want to do this again.