Sanders Sides Oneshots and Short Stories

Slang and Sleep

Requested

Ship: Platonic RemyxLogan

Category: Fluff

Warning(s): Mild arguing

Summary: Remy and Logan can help each other, but they need to look past their differences first.

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Logan had been minding his own business when his door was thrown open.

This always happened to him. Whether it be Roman, shouting about his newest idea, or Patton, demanding he come down for breakfast, or even Virgil, in the midst of an anxious breakdown, he always had people barging into his room without permission.

This time, though, he was taken by surprise as Remy stepped inside, sipping from a Starbucks cup and smirking.

"You will not believe what I just heard," Remy drawled, draping himself over Logan's lap and leaving the door open.

"I'm sure I won't," Logan agreed.

"Patton just told me that you use flashcards? For slang words? Oh honey. Ohh honey."

"What?" Logan crossed his arms. "They're helpful."

"Mm. No. Sweetie, if you wanna be cool, you cannot use flashcards. Ju-Just hand 'em over."

Logan sighed, reached into his pocket, and gave Remy the deck of flashcards. Remy inspected them, tipping his sunglasses up to get a better look. He tsk'd a few times, shaking his head, then set them off to the side.

"I'm gonna teach you," Remy announced, jumping up. "First lesson: don't try to construct a full sentence with them. Just pepper 'em in a few times, ya know?"

"I... I don't."

Remy cleared his throat. "Like this: Man, that party was so lit last night! Wanna hang later with the rest of the fam? Ah, gucci bro."

Logan frowned. "That seems a little excessive."

"Okay, maybe it wasn't too realistic, but you get my point."

And surprisingly, Logan did.

Next week, Remy popped into his room, unannounced, and gave him another lesson. And the next week, another. Sometimes, he appeared in the early morning, and other times, at nearly midnight. Each time, he was drinking what might've been pure caffeine from a plastic cup. Logan found himself concerned about Remy's sleep habits. Did he ever sleep? He was the embodiment of sleep after all, so why was he awake all the time? Then again, he was logic, and yet he still got caught up in work for weeks at a time.

One day, when Remy came for the next lesson, Logan closed the door behind him.

"Remy, I find your sleep schedule absolutely horrific," Logan said, hands folded neatly in front of him. "You need to reset your circadian rhythm for optimal performance. You cannot operate on caffeine all the time."

Remy blinked at him. "What?"

"You never sleep!" Logan said indignantly. "And yet you are sleep! I cannot fathom it."

Remy scowled. "You're one to talk, Logic. Staying up all night doing math? Who are you to lecture me?"

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps your problem is getting defensive and refusing to listen to reason. That may be acquitted to your lack of proper rest."

Remy's brown eyes fixed on him with such intensity that Logan almost took a step back. "You don't control me, Logic. You don't get to tell sleep what 'proper rest' is. You don't know anything." And with that, he spun on his heel and fled the room, leaving the door wide open as he went.