What Ever It Takes (Emison Story)

Chapter 37

2003

The drinking continued. In secret of course. It had been almost two weeks without Alison noticing. Emily didnt know how on earth she was getting away with this, she knew she shouldn't be doing it in the first place, but she couldnt stop.

Right now, her wife thinks she's at some type of job interview, but she was actually sitting at the end of the bar, in her designated seat.

She checked the time constantly. Making sure she wouldnt stay too long and raise any suspicions with Alison. The brunette made sure not to drink too much, and to always have gum with her so that she could drown out the smell of liquor in her mouth.

But today just felt like a long day. She was missing her brother even more today for some reason. Her depressive state grew worse and worse with each day. The brunette put on fake smile for her family and friends, so they wouldnt have to worry about her, and see how much pain she was really in. On some level she wished they would notice though, she hated feeling like this, but she was too stubborn to ask for help herself. She wasnt like that. Emily was supposed to take care of people, not the other way around, she didnt want to be looked at as week.

But that's what she was. Weak. Cowardly. She couldnt even face her emotions head on, she had to hide them in a bottle, like a pathetic, weak son of a bitch. What a great example she's setting for her kids. If she had it her way, she wouldnt want her children to be anything like her.

Emily was supposed to be there for them, take care of them, provide for them, but all she was capable of doing was being a disappointment. A screw up. Waste of space.

With the death of Ashton, and the repetitive flashbacks from war each time she closed her eyes, she felt like she was losing her self. The version of herself that she loved, the version that Alison brought out. She just felt like a failure. And she didnt know how to fix it, so she resorted to the only solution.

Drinking her problems away.

***

Alison was getting worried. Emily had been gone for more then four hours on her supposed 'Job interview' The blonde was pacing, repeatedly calling her wife, but got no answer.

She had no idea where she was, and it was starting to freak her out, because she knew that Emily isn't okay right now. And deep down she knows that the women shouldn't be on her own. Alison knew that when Emily smiled it was fake, her laugh was forced, she could see the pain in her eyes. And she curses herself for not doing something sooner. Because she had a strong feeling where her wife could be at the moment, or had been for the last week.

The house phone suddenly began ringing startling Alison from her thoughts. She jumped up from the couch and retrieved the phone from the hook. "Hello?"

"Hi....is this Alison Fields?" a hesitant voice spoke from the other line.

"Um yes this is she, can I ask why you're calling"

"Yeah, I need your help with something"

After the women on the other end of the line, Alison called her neighbor over to look after the kids while she quickly put on her jacket and shoes, grabbed her keys off the hook, and sprinted out the door to her car.

***

Walking in to the bar, Alison brushed the snow from her jacket and rubbed her hands together seeking any type of warmth.

She was upset. Not at her wife, but at herself. The blonde had known Emily had a drinking problem in the past, she should have been keeping a better eye on her. She glanced around frantically searching the entire place for her brunette.