What Ever It Takes (Emison Story)

Chapter 38

2003

"Hi, I'm Emily and I'm an alcoholic" Her fingers tapped the podium nervously, her lip trapped between her teeth.

"Hi Emily" Everyone in the room greeted her at once. All kind of different people filled the room. Young, old, black, white. She wasnt alone in this, everyone in the room suffered the same addiction as herself.

She wasnt alone

"Um" She started and cleared her throat "I just recently got back from deployment in Iraq, I was stationed there for nine months, but I only made it through five of those months. My twin brother died while in battle, I held his hand as he died, and watched as he took his last breath" tears clouded her vision.

"It's hard, not knowing if I could've done anything to save him, deep down I knew I couldnt but I still think about it, I think I always will. It was our second tour together, the thought neve crossed my mind that he wouldnt make it home, but he didnt. He didnt come home" Emily needed to repeat the statement so she knew that it was real, she needed to get that through her head.

"So I started drinking again because it was the only thing that made me forget the pain. I felt so weak, I felt like I was failing my wife and kids. They needed me but I wasnt there" Her lip trembled "I need to be there for them, I want my kids to see me as their hero, not a pathetic loser. I want to be the best wife I can be for my girl. I need to be...me again"

"This is why I'm here, I dont give up, I'm not a loser, yes I'm Emily Fields, and I'm a alcoholic" She concluded, feeling a weight on her chest being lifted. It felt good to let everything out.

Everyone clapped. Emily smiled softly waving them off, her heart stopped as her eyes met a familiar set of blues. The blonde nodded to her with a proud smile on her face as she clapped with the rest of the people.

Emily smiled in return, happy that her wife was there, she didnt want her there, but she was relieved that she was. Emily stepped off the podium and took her seat.

"Thank you Emily" The director announced with a small smile "Anyone wanna go next?"

They listen for the remainder of the time. After everyone was done, Emily politely thanked the director and walked over to Alison. The blonde smiled at her and looped her arm through hers as they walked out.

"I'm proud of you Em"

Emily pulled the blonde in closer, and kissed the top of her head "I wouldnt be doing this without you Ali, thank you for coming"

Alison shrugged "You don't have to thank me Em, I'll always be here when you need me"

They walked peacefully down the street, since the place wasnt very far from there house, they walked. Emily sighed thoughtfully "Now this brings back memories"

Alison turned her head, eyes sparkling with remembrance "It certainly does"

"I loved walking you to work, It was the best part of my day, I felt like it made us closer for some reason, we always talked, I loved it"

Alison nodded agreeing, grasping her wife's arm tighter walking as close as possible. They hadnt been this close in months, and Alison wanted to enjoy the all top familiar feeling she had been missing.

"Maybe we should start again?" Alison suggested "I miss it too, and we could bring the kids they would love it"

Emily's eyes lit up "Really? that would be awesome" She spoke softly

Now this was the Emily Alison had been missing, the one who was soft and gentle with her words, the one who made her heart beat out of her chest just by looking at her.