seventeen imagines

give me love • seungkwan

The boy slowly opens his eyes and the midday sunshine greets him. It filters through the sheer curtains covering his window and creates small patterns on the wood floor. Life went on outside and he could hear it through the window cracked open.

Seungkwan turns onto his side and looks at the empty space beside him on the bed. A dull ache tugs on his heart and it makes him think back to all those happy mornings with you. The boy should be seeing you sleeping right now. He should be holding you in his arms and waking up with you.

But you weren't there. You left long ago.

Seungkwan missed having you wake him up in the morning. He missed having you sing loudly and hitting him with pillows. The way you would sit on top of him and do everything to wake him up. And when he did open his eyes, the first thing he saw was you. The morning sunshine would illuminate your beautiful face and he could see every single detail. He would always think about how much he loved you.

A sigh leaves his lips as he gets out of bed, doing anything to ease the pain in his heart. He shuffles to his washroom and stands in front of the sink. He brushes his teeth and looks at his reflection in the mirror, the tiles cold against his feet.

The boy's eyes fell upon his shirt, the shirt he wore while painting your shared apartment with him. That day was so special and he would never forget how much fun the two of you had. Dancing around to the loud music playing, working together to paint the walls, splattering paint onto each other once you finished. The golden sunshine pouring through the bare windows and the perfect summer breeze flittering around the empty room. It felt perfect to be with you at that time.

But now, the shirt just brought back bad memories.

It was the same shirt he wore the night you two broke up. He ran out of your house and didn't even realize it was raining while the loud crash of thunder rang through his eyes. He didn't know what was heavier, the downpour or his broken heart. He cried for hours that night, not being able to do anything except let his feelings out. The storm raged on outside and the roaring thunder was drowned out by his sobs, lightning illuminating his pitch black room. He let the tears flow and flow until he fell asleep on a too cold bed.

Seungkwan's eyes trailed up his body until he was looking at himself in the eye through the mirror. He looked at the dark circles around his eyes from all those sleepless night without you; when happy memories would flood his head and it was all he could think about. Drowning in emotions and not being able to stay afloat. He's been waking up late into the day with no feeling of rest. He was so tired mentally.

Stubble began to grow on his face but it didn't matter to him, the boy didn't go out anymore and did not want to see anymore. His friends and family texted him everyday and wanted to help so badly, but he just shut them all out. How could he live on when his universe wasn't with him? What's the point?

He finishes brushing his teeth and wipes his face with a cold washcloth. It felt like his cheeks were tear-stained, the feeling lingering after countless nights of tears. He was all out of it now, nothing left inside of him. Just tears ghosting his cheeks and the continuous sorrow in his heart.

Leaving the washroom, he shuffles over to his kitchen. He wasn't hungry and only eats a banana, despite the fact that it was well past noon and he just woke up. Seungkwan brings a glass of water up to his lips and lets the liquid run down his throat. His body thanked him in relief, he has been singing his heart out whenever he wasn't able to cry. He sang so much it made his throat sore and it left him out of breath.

One song has been stuck in his head for the past week, a song that randomly popped up in his head. He hasn't listened to it in years but he still knew all of the words by heart. It seemed perfect for his feelings and hit him deeply.