Prologue:
My first rejection from her was when we were in grade 1 ...
I gave her my favorite toy and told her I like her. I can sill remember her frowning when I approached her.
"Ewww, you look like a pig with four eyes." She said, before she turned to leave.
I was chubby that time, wearing glasses because my sight isn't as good as any other kids are supposed to.
I got depressed that time. So I figured I should loose some weight and maybe then, she would like me back.
I confessed to her again how much I liked her when the school year ended when we were in grade 2.
"Please like me back." I said while bowing my head and holding out my favorite brand of chocolate to offer her.
She just stared at me and stuck her tongue out before running away from me. I didn't know that it was possible for a 9 year old boy like me to have a broken heart at an early age.
I was so hurt that time that all my hopes and dreams with her vanished and I didn't have the courage to pursue my feelings for her anymore. But still ... my feelings for her remained. So I decided to take a break for a year.
Fourth grade came by so fast. My teacher ( who's very fond of me ) had me partnered with her in one of our projects. It was late at night and she was inside our house when I held her hand. She looked at me and take her hand back before she glared at me.
"Anong problema mo?!"
"Revi, gusto na nga kasi kita. Hindi mo ba ko magugustuhan?" She just stared at me before she shook her head in disbelief and ran outside the house. I followed her back to their house.
I had my braces that time and I just had my adjustment that caused me to have a hard time closing my mouth. We reached their house and she ran inside their dining area. I was shocked when I saw too many people inside.
"Papa! Pakisabi nga diyan sa panget na yan na hindi mo pa ko pwedeng paligawan dahil ako ang unica hija mo at magandang-maganda ako."
I was standing near them and I bowed my head when I heard her calling me ugly. Who wouldn't think I am? Wearing these braces and glasses. Looking very thin and sick. Hell, she's right. I am ugly.
I heard her brothers teased her. Only her sister asked me who I was.
"Stalker ko!" So that's who am I to her? Just a stalker? A stalker who have known his feelings for her right from the very first time he laid his eyes on her?
That's when I had to say something for myself, because I can no longer contain the embarrassment.
"Good evening po," I was gripping tightly on my shirt, I didn't know what I was doing but I know I have to say something at least ... for myself. "Classmate po ako ni Revi."
They asked me what I'm doing there and I told them that I followed Revi to assure her safety. They were arguing and her brothers were teasing me as if they were not taking my existence seriously.
Then I heard her say the most hurtful thing I've heard among her rejections.
"Pa naman! Ayoko! Wag mo kong paligawan diyan! Hindi ko kaya pinangarap na magkaboyfriend ng tulad niyan!" She said before she turned to leave.
"M-mauuna na po ko." That's the only thing that came out of my mouth after she said that. Before I ran out of their house and cried.
That's the time when I said to myself, I will stop myself from liking her. That I'll make myself better. So when the time comes that we'll meet again, she'll regret not liking me back.
That's when I realized that I ... am not ... for rejection ... anymore.
