fall | baekhyun

T W E N T Y - F I V E

"So I saw you had your dinner with your ex,"

You leaned on the kitchen counter with a glass of cold wine in your hand. You still wore your office suit, enough to inform me that you just got back from work.

"Y-yes. He came to buy my paintings. It's-"

"Buy your paintings while hugging you? Is that a new business technique? I should learn more from my dearly wife, shouldn't I?"

I couldn't say a thing after that. I was standing near the couch, hands came together at front, crystal eyes and head hung low. You didn't raise your voice but your words were ordinarily venomic.

"I guess that we get married for too long,"

I snapped at that. We never talked about divorce before but I'd been thinking to voice it out when things got even miserable.

My eyes locked with yours as I gasped in shock. I never know that it wouldn't be me who give up on this marriage first. I didn't expect any part of it.

"You're tired of me. You've been cheating around right? I bet that you even take pills from getting yourself pregnant,"

You whispered with a crooked smirk, your gaze never left mine as the sentences flowed out between your kissable lips.

"H-how could you come to all those wrong assumptions?"

I couldn't believe my own ears upon hearing those things from you. It was you who cheated on me. It was you who didn't fuck me for months. It was you who tired of my vulnerable side. It was you who created the damage from the very start.

But you're blaming me now?
You put everything on me now?
So I'm just a joke to you this whole time?

"Don't pretend that you still love me just like what you did years ago,"

My eyes followed your body as you flopped down on the couch beside me. Your actions seemed a bit more restless than usual. I wasn't sure whether it was my delusional self or it was the real thing that happened at the moment.

"You want a divorce? You don't want me to be your wife anymore?"

The questions that I asked sounded like a plead for you to never give a 'yes' as an answer. Somehow, I wasn't ready to let you go. I was a stupid woman. I acknowledged that fact.

"I hate all of these! I hate my desire to hurt you. I hate myself for enjoying the scene of you crying underneath me. I hate our broken relationship,"

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I heard your confession, your real feeling for the first time. It was a sincere one and you didn't use any negative move nor words to express it.

"I vowed at the altar to take care of you but I failed to do so lately. We're not as happy as a married couple should be. We're just pretending to be happy. We're good actors aye?"

You chuckled once and I nodded, secretly relieved that you realized that. You suddenly broke the eye contact between us. You lowered your head and covered your face with your hands.

I waited for something more for you to say. I couldn't talk even a bit; totally didn't trust my own voice to sound strong and stable.

But nothing else could be heard until I clasped my mouth as soon as your sobs filling up the dysphoria night.

You were crying,
Oh so did I,
And the heavy snow outside pouring down;
Becoming one with our shattered hearts;
Making the cold wintery night seemed so deadly covered in white.