fall | baekhyun

F I F T Y - T H R E E

"Good morning, Mrs. Byun. How are you feeling today?" a petite nurse greeted me as soon as I opened my eyes on the next day.

"Feeling like a person who can be discharged in an hour," my answer brought a smile to her face. She proceeded with her work, taking a read on everything to ensure that I'm good to go.

"Alright, it looks like you're getting your wish today," she patted me on my hand, "The readings are excellent but your condition is still not in its 100% state yet, so please remind yourself to eat and rest regularly. Don't push yourself too much, ok?"

I thanked her as she exited the room. I reached out for my phone the moment that the door was completely closed. There's a message from you.

Morning, love. Hope you're doing well.  -Hubby

The corner of my lips tugged upwards immediately. You're a sweet guy at times and I appreciated it all the time. I didn't reply and get out of bed to prepare for the day. I had to look decent on such an eventful day; I wanted to be the main attraction of the day.

10 minutes were taken to bathe and do my make-up as natural as it could be. Staring at my face in the mirror, I sighed alone. The reflection of me reminded me that you always love my bare face, especially after T washed up. You love everything about me, used to love everything about me, but will you love me the same in a long run?

With that thought in my mind, I brushed my dress down in a nervous gesture before slowly taking myself out of the room. My heart was pounding in my chests as I got into the elevator, pressing the one and the only button that could send me to my favourite escapism: rooftop.

When the door opened, my white dress caressed my thighs generously. It's windy again and I sniffed in the crispy air, being thankful for the last time that I was still strong enough to breathe that day. I was grateful to live.

My phone was vibrating as soon as I sat on the usual bench and I knew that the caller must be you. I answered after the fourth ring and braced myself from saying anything stupid to you.

"Morning, Love. Did my call wake you up?"

"Morning. No, I was awake since 6. Too excited to go back to sleep."

"So tell me why you didn't reply to my messages? I sent around 15 of them. Did I just being ignored by my own wife?"

I hummed in my teasing laughter, confirming to him that I indeed neglected his texts. He might scowl at me but I didn't let him nag at me. "Your wife was busy chatting with the handsome doctor this morning. Sorry, sir."

"Yahh- wait until I get there, Mrs Byun. You do know very well that you have a rather possessive husband, don't you?"

"Uuuu~ the threat sounds so deathly. Where should I run?" he snorted at that.

"I'm heading there now. I'm all set with the mission items. Are you sure that you don't want extra food for breakfast? Any dessert from Chateau Cafe?"

"No, I don't feel like eating this morning. I just want to see your face. Come here, please."

"Such a whiny darling. Okay, I'm in my car right now. See you in 20, alright? Love you."

"Fine. Love you too, so much."

After a short chuckle, you ended the call and I left the phone on the bench before I stood closer to the edge of the building. I suddenly recalled the conversation between me and Yoora. Her stories, her truths, her tears. They were all so real that I knew none of them was a lie. I tried to deny some parts but deep inside, I knew that your character in her life was as much of a protagonist as in mine.

I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. No, I shouldn't be weak. Just then I saw your car entering the main gate and drove to the main entrance at the lobby. It's a bad habit of yours as you always hand the key to the valet instead of parking your car. Thank goodness that this hospital is for the VVIPs and they have a valet parking service.

I saw you in the outfit, looking as handsome as you always be, with the flowers. Those petals were more for you rather than for me. I didn't need them but you would have to use them on me. I gave out a sad smile as I witnessed the cheerful bounces of your soft hair as you moved around the car to pass the key to the valet.

"You deserve more happiness but you can't get enough from me and you found another reliable source. It is my fault to fail in being a perfect person in our marriage. I'm a failure."

I whispered alone as my hands cradled the slightly visible bump at the lower region of my stomach. You won't cherish my version of sunlight that was growing inside of me as you already have Yoora's version growing inside her one month older than mine. 

I was afraid to tell you but there's a fair and easier way to let you know about everything. I knew you didn't love me as you used to. You won't feel empty after all. You have her to keep you warm at night. You don't need me, you don't.

With a deep breath, I crossed over to the outer side of the steels that supposed to keep people safe from falling down from the top of the building. The wind and air felt different. It was soothing as if they embraced me in a comforting manner. I smirked at the irony.

I looked at my bare feet, barely stepping on the floor, half of them were stepping on nothing except the cold air. Then, I looked at you who were still trying to gather a few helium balloons from the car trunk with the help of the valet. The effort... it would be your last, love.

"I was born with the name of Yoo Reyna, and now I am ready to leave the world with the name of Byun Reyna. Goodbye, love. I'll take care of our child there."

With that, my fingers unlatched from the frozen rails, my feet disconnected from the icy floor, and the air engulfed me as if it said, "You did well."