fall | baekhyun

F O R T Y - S E V E N

I quickly tied my hair into a messy morning bun as soon as the fresh morning breeze hit my skin. It was cold but it felt good. I was so close to bounce on the wheelchair as soon as the door of the rooftop was opened widely before my eyes.

"Wait a min. Is it legal.. for us to be here?" I looked up at her as a sudden realisation hit me. 

"Ermm.. about that- I don't know but I think that rooftop is the right place for you to get some mental-peace. Let's just forget about the law temporarily," Yura rested her hand on my shoulder and added a slight pressure on it. It was a careful gesture though. 

I could sense her nervousness while communicating with me. I didn't know why but then again, I am Mrs Byun, her boss' wife. However, I did think that maybe we could be normal friends. Not to mention that she's at the same age you.

"Mr Byun never mention to me that you love being outside. I really thought that you're 100% an insider," she pushed the wheelchair to one of the benches there, allowing me to get a better view of the concrete jungle around the hospital.

"He didn't say that to you because your assumption about me is right. I don't enjoy being outside that much," the corner of my lips raised a bit, felt pleased by the fact that you knew me so well, "but then I hate the smell of medicine in the ward. It makes me feel more sick than I have to be."

"You're totally the opposite of Mr Byun then. He used to pretend to be sick only to skip classes or meetings," an airy laugh escaped between her lips, "I still can't believe that the laziest person in my class would grow up into a CEO, and me myself being one of his employees."

It's just another moment that I couldn't help but feeling left out. I weren't there in the same time frame as Yura and you. Insecurity hugged my heart again but I managed to smile at her, yet definitely avoiding her eye contact.

"It must be nice to know him since years ago. Both of you share a lot of stories that I don't know. Perhaps you know him better than I do," I tried to sound like I was joking but then, I had no one to fool. She understood the real meaning behind it, crystal clear.

She was fidgeting on her own, fixing her posture while playing with her nails. She was nervous, again. I felt bad for making her sitting on needles. I didn't mean to attack her or whatsoever. My jealousy got the best of me.

"I'm sorry. That was a joke. Don't show me that kind of expression. You make me feel guilty," I tapped her thigh in hope that we could just laugh off the topic.

"It doesn't sound like one," she whispered much to my surprise. My eyes were searching for hers but she kept them down, only focusing on her anxious fingers.

"Pardon? What was that?" I had to ask. I couldn't let myself misinterpret things anymore. It did me no good in the pasts. 

"It wasn't a joke, was it?" she tilted her head to my direction, meeting my eyes for the first time. I saw something in her eyes; something that I wish to never recognise, it bothered me.

"What make you say that? Enlighten me," I unconsciously replied whatever it was in my mind. Deep down, I was scared that her answers would somehow hurt me but I couldn't stop myself.

"I know that you dislike me. Especially when you see me around Baekhyun," the confidence contained in her voice was thick, perfectly mixed with a pinch of authority that I didn't know where it come from.

What shocked me the most is when she dropped the formality without breaking the eye contact. Long gone 'Mr Byun', she went straight with 'Baekhyun'. Her aura completely changed and a little voice inside me whined in pain.

She made me speechless with those words. She kept it brief but I couldn't say anything back to her. Yes, she was right. I disliked her but both of us knew that the right term for that is 'envy' and she realised my insecurity towards her relationship with you.

I felt like I shouldn't confirm it for her sake. I shouldn't say a word to her. I had every right on Earth to keep my mouth shut and let her thoughts run wild. I had no intention to stay longer, beside her on that rooftop. I was disheartened to consider her as my friend. She didn't deserve it.

"Excuse me, Yura. I don't think that I should be here. My husband is waiting for me in my room. Thanks for the tour. See you around, later," I unlocked the wheels and made my way to the lift.

The second that the lift closed, I caught the glimpse of her shaky shoulders and soon enough, mine got shaky too. How evil can a God be? It's unfair for Him to do this to Yura and I.

I whispered a question to no one before I sobbed into my palms alone, "Yura, you love him too.. aren't you?"