fall | baekhyun

F I F T Y - O N E

I forced you to go home to sleep and come back to pick me up on the next day. You strongly refused to let me be alone but I convinced you that nothing bad would happen to me. I guess I just needed some time to think, alone.

I bribed the nurses to allow me to roam around, of course, I chose a super quiet place with serene surrounding, the rooftop, again. The cold night breeze brushed my hair continuously and I would tremble every now and then when I couldn't contain the low temperature.

"This concrete jungle is so busy even at this hour," I whispered to myself as I sat cross-legged near the edge of the building. The packed roads were occupied with vehicles and people, rushing to go home and call it a day.

I took out a tuna kimbap from my hospital gown, grinning at the small form of happiness. I managed to go to the convenient store at the lobby of the hospital, snatched the last one from the rack. I never really able to eat tuna before because of its fishy aftertaste but somehow craved for it on that night.

When I was about to pop one slice into my mouth, someone talked in soft voice, "I know you'll be here," it was the last person that I wanted to meet at that moment, Yura.

"Hello to you too," I sighed in lowkeyed-annoyance. I had enough of the sight of her trying to act all innocent in front of me. Personally, I was too tired to wear a mask and be an actress.

"I came to your room and you weren't there," she sat beside me, "Why would you eat alone here? Isn't it a little bit too cold for you to sit at the roof top. The temperature is around 19°C right now."

There she goes alone, smiling from ear to ear while talking to me like we are friends, good friends. I put on a fake smile too, "I need to clear up my mind. Lately I have things to be worried about before I leave this hospital. There are tonnes of problems to be settled, considering that I am surrounded by inconsiderate, secretive, sly and manipulative people."

I saw she turned into a sculpture at my sudden statement. Maybe it hit her nerves. I didn't care. She was the one who found me there, it wasn't the other way around. She could even run out of the hospital at that time and I wouldn't say a thing to stop her.

"I can tell that you went through a lot," she said after she sighed deeply, "I am sorry for you. Is there anything that I can help you with? I am a great listener, y'know."

"Maybe I can ask a favour from you," I smirked, "but I am sure that you won't be able to help me out," I raised an eyebrow at her as I chewed on my third slice of kimbap. I failed to enjoy the taste of the food when she was there. Eating kimbap was supposed to be a joyful thing but I turned as an action that could help me to calm myself down from bursting into an angry beast in front of Yura.

"Well, you have to tell me about it first. Only then, we can decide whether I have the potential to do anything good about it or not," she tapped me on back, "Go on. I am ready to lend you my ears."

I looked into her eyes for a few seconds as I grabbed her hands into mine, "I hope you'll help me. I really don't know what to do," I brought my gaze down to our intertwined hands, "Tell me the truth, Yura. Everything. About you and Baekhyun. Please."

"Wait, what are you talking–"

"Don't pretend to know nothing about this. I know that it isn't just a boss and an employee kind of relationship. I can't stay in the dark anymore, Yura. You have to at least help me to know and understand everything. I am Byun Baekhyun's wife. I deserve an explanation," I squeezed her hands tightly as she stared into my glassy eyes.

I promised myself that I would be strong, that I wouldn't cry, that I would be calm and smile while listening to every bit of confession about this matter but I failed to do so. I was a weak woman. I know myself too well.

Her eyebrows mashed together and tears started to well up in her eyes too. I could see my own broken expression in her eyes and now hers mirrored mine as she pulled her hands free of my grasp gently and focused on the view of the city instead.

"I don't know where or how should I begin the story. I will be honest with you if you really want it but I do hope that you can handle everything. However, you should understand that there's a reason why a secret is supposed to remain unknown to some people; it's because the truth hurts."

And she opened her mouth, letting out everything that she stored in her chests. Every detail that I didn't see before was displayed in front of me as we both walked down the memory lane, apparently without wearing any shoes while smashing thorned-branches underneath our soles.

We bleed inside out, muting our screams of agony for the sake of one man. As you, Byun Baekhyun, danced in your greediness to own two damaged flowers all at once. But here's a reminder: a wise person said, "Greed, in the end, fails even the greedy."

At the end, you can't have it all to yourself and I will make sure of it.