fall | baekhyun

F O R T Y - N I N E

5 minutes after you went out, a doctor came in, gave me all the information that I needed. I was attacked with endless emotions due to my own health report. One thing for sure, I could pack my belongings on the next day and go home after the dawn ends.

"Thanks for checking on me. You don't have to tell my husband anything. I'll inform him in details by myself," I smiled from ear to ear, making the deep-dimpled doctor smiled too.

"I'm just doing my job, Mrs Byun and yeah, thanks for being such a good patient. I'll see myself out. Push the button beside you if you need anything."

I squealed in happiness (totally ignoring the doctor's presence), already imagining the scenario of me stepping my feet into my Indulgence Room back at my house. It would be the exact definition of 'home sweet home'.

"Don't be too happy. You still need to take your medicine for another week," he grinned at me and closed the door behind him. That's one charming doctor, wondering whether he's taken or not.

Right after that, I spent my time watching random videos on Youtube and slept, hoping that by the time I wake up, I would see you beside my bed, ready to hear my medical report.

* * *

I didn't know the exact time when I started to be conscious of my surrounding. I was about to move my entire body, rolling towards the voices that I could hear faintly, judging by the volume, the owners of those voices must be only steps away from me.

"Can we talk about this later?" your harsh tone stopped me from moving and I decided to pretend that I was still asleep. Who were you talking to?

"You always avoid this topic. She's sleeping, she won't hear us," that voice, a very familiar voice.

"Please, I don't want to talk about it now. We have months ahead of us, why are you rushing things so much? You said that you'll take it slow?" how persuasive your voice was and I hated it.

"No. You know better than I do how slow our pace was. You did nothing as what we planned. Are you going back on your words, Byun Baekhyun?"

I started to breathe faster as my heart beat accelerated. "This is not right!" the soft voice in me protested impatiently. Wild images came into my mind, ambushing negative words at the same time and I drowned in the sudden pain, unable to churn everything at once.

Just like that, I spent long minutes, hearing every word that two souls were exchanging between them. Probably covering a few sobs that came every now and then before completely burying my whole face into the pillow.

My knuckles turning white on the bed as all I could see was red. On that moment, I knew that I literally just threw myself under a bus for the nth time.

"Oh dear Lord, spare me please, not this again," that's what my little heart silently prayed.

***
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