Unconditional

Beautiful...But not Mine....

*Underlined parts are flashback*

*Trigger warning*

***************

Ant takes a deep breath and turns to Dec. Dec was looking at him with too many emotions, prominent of them being fear. Ant's heart stammers in his chest Am I doing the right thing telling this to Dec? But Dec must know. Dec is not like Andrew and he never will be. I never told this to anyone. I don't know how long I can keep this inside me... Maybe Dec is right. Talking might help... But is Dec the right person? I know he is...yes he is... He already knows so much about me. This won't make any difference....or maybe, this will make all the difference....

Dec sees Ant's eyes focusing on his own and he sees a glint of uncertainty in them. He slowly presses Ant's hand again and Ant sighs.
And then he talks:

"I don't know how much you know about my childhood. But once Nana passed away, mam wanted me with her. And I didn't want to leave this place.Since then I was trying hard to prove my mam and others that I am fine being alone, that I am strong, I wanted to be independent and not chained by anything or anyone. That's why I rebelled against my friends even if I know they care about me. Piers' team and ours were in a constant fight since school.  Andrew was a part of it but he always had a sort of soft spot for me. He never called me names or never let anyone hurt me..at first I felt weird- all I wanted was to smash his face and he is being all nice to me. When we reached college, the hostel got refurbished and I got shifted into a double room. And all my roommates were Piers' people. They always tried to either hurt me or spy on me. Last year, after I caught my third roommate spying on me, Andrew came to my room. I was at first confused by his action but you know him... So cunning and crafty... He made me believe that he is actually nice and his loyalty to Piers is for his own protection. Somewhere through those days, he made me think that our plights are similar.Even if I know my friends are nothing like his... I found similarities in us...or he made me believe so. You know, parents not home...forced to meet expectations... controlling friends.... I didn't trust him entirely or didn't quite let him close to me. But I trusted him to not turn against me....and... and he didn't..."

Dec's eyes widen at that He didn't?!Then that scar?!!

Ant looks at Dec with his usual nonchalant face

Ant: "He didn't turn against me, Dec...he did something worst"

Dec felt his heart stammering in his chest. There was a hint of horror in Ant's eyes. Something you get when you go back to some frightening memory

Dec: "Wh-what happened?"

Ant looks straight at Dec and whispers in a low voice "He made a pass at me"

Blood rushes out from Dec's face and his limbs turn cold That fucker Andrew!!!!

Ant: "We were both drunk. Since I met him..I... I knew he has a tendency to be close to me.But I never let him.You know how I am about trusting people and being close to them. I never went out with him anywhere or took him anywhere. But one night, during a party we both attended, he made me drink a lot. I didn't think of what it is or why he wants me to drink so much. For the first time in my life, I put my guard down before someone...I put my guard down before him...I let him exploit my vulnerability.I let him take advantage of my drunkenness... and...and my trust in him..I didn't see that coming...I fucking didn't see the change in him.He made me leave the party early and we went back to the hostel and he.....

|>>>

Andrew carried a wobbling Ant to their room. As they enter the room, Ant shrugs away from Andrew