Unconditional

Thank You for Proving me Right

*Slight trigger warning*

Blood leaves Ant's face as he struggles to make out what Dec just said

Ant: "W-what did you-" he chokes out.

Dec then repeats it in a small voice "I can never love my rapist, Anth...I can never love him!"

Sobs choke his throat and he sits on the floor struggling to hold it down, panting.

As his last bit of control leaves him and he breaks down crying....Ant's heart breaks into million pieces inside his chest!

What have I done?

Dec was sobbing out loud and Ant felt his heart tugging with pain. I promised! That I won't hurt him again! That I won't make him cry! That I won't let his smile fade...oh Dec...

Ant turns around and closes the door behind him. He then walks to Dec, afraid to approach him after what all he just said.

Ant: "Dec...."

Dec: "You hate me now! You- you are disgusted with me now...you hate me-"

Suddenly, Ant falls on his knees in front of Dec and pulls him closer, hugging him.

Ant: "No, Dec...I don't...I don't...I will never hate you...never..I am so sorry" Tears fill inside Ant's eyes and he blinks them away

Dec needs his assurance, his acceptance and in no way is he going to fail in providing him that!

Dec's sobs increase and Ant holds him close to his chest, rubbing his back and kissing his hair. Each sobs that came out of Dec's chest were like spears to his heart.

Ant: "I am sorry...I so sorry"

Dec: "I hate him Anth...I can't love him...I don't love him, Anth...I don't"

Ant: "I know...I know...I was just so angry...oh god Dec...why didn't you tell me, you should have told me all these...I didn't know what you were going through!"

Dec shakes his head "You would have hated me. For being so weak and clingy and an idiot! I hate myself and-"

Ant pulls away and holds his face "Don't you dare say that! I can never hate you. In fact nobody can! You are the strongest lad I know and I am proud of you. Damn it Declan! Have you seen your smile? It lights up my whole life Declan! And to know you were holding this much pain inside...and I didn't even know..."

Dec hugs him tight and asks in a broken voice "So- so you don't hate- me?"

Ant kisses his hair at that "No I don't...but I want to you to talk to me...don't hold anything from me...please...please..."

Dec cuddles closer to Ant as a shiver passes through him "I don't think I can"

Ant: "Take your time...whenever you are ready, Dec...take your time"

Dec cuddles closer to him and Ant sits leaning back to the wall, Dec cuddled on his lap, sobbing to his chest.

He couldn't believe he had judged Dec like that- again! He knew it's because he didn't know the whole truth but that doesn't mean he has the right to speak like that. I should have protected him! I should have saved him! And I thought he is having affair with the very lad who tried to abuse him?! Can I fall any lower before his eyes!

Ant holds him protectively as if Dec is a precious thing that can break anytime... and then he hears a small voice from his chest.

Dec: "It all started five years ago...it was my birthday..."