Fifty Shades Full Circle

Untitled Part 60

Author's Note:

Wow, it's been a while since I've been here.

Hello.

I was cleaning out the files in my laptop and guess what I found. Yep. I found my word document for this entire thing. It's so embarrassing, there are so many notes and random ramblings in it. When I saw the date I felt so old because it said I created the document 2015. Yikes. That was 4 years ago.

So much has happened the entire time I haven't been here, I wouldn't bore you with it. Mostly a lot of growing up and being in the real world. It's surreal to think that a few years ago, I was here, I was writing, and I was still very into this fandom. One thing that's sure is that the me who wrote this and published this is very different from the me now. I have to admit, my writing style has changed drastically. I do cringe at some parts when I read it, but mostly I'm just really amused that I was able to come up with this. This is a very good memory though, something I could look back to and say "Wow, I did something like that." It's also nice to see that some things don't change, that I still make errors, that I still have the tendency to write über cheesy words, that I still let my emotion write for me sometimes. This work serves as a marker of my growth, and that's such a good thing in my opinion.

I think it's already obvious that I am not a part of this fandom anymore. After the last movie, the new content stopped, which meant that most of the fandom (including me) lost interest too and eventually we moved our own ways. I'm still friends with some of the people I've met through this fandom but we've all moved on, for the most part. Now I laugh at myself, because I used to say that I'll never get out of this fandom, that this is for life, that this is it. My naïvete made me believe that hahaha

I'll have to admit that I'll always have some connection to this fandom, whether I like it or not. It was one of my first fandoms, I've made so many friends, I've even written a 150k+ word fanfiction about it. This work will always serve as my tangible, real connection to this fandom. There are some moments when I think of Christian and Ana and wonder what's happening to them, and I think they're doing well. I know those two lovebirds won't let me down :)

Seeing the overwhelming number of notifications, seeing some of you still voting and commenting as recent as yesterday (it's March. 6, 2019 now that I'm writing this) is crazy. I would've never imagined this in a million years. I still remember when I published this, I was so f***** (i'm censoring the expletive because wattpad might block this entire thing LOL) terrified that no one will read this. 15 year old me is jumping with glee because of all the love you've been giving and still giving me and this work. I'm so grateful. Thank you. I could never put into words the feeling that I'm feeling but I hope this is enough.

I'm not sure if this is a good bye. I'll say that this is more of like a see you later. Life is very unpredictable, you know. It's hard to say that an end will stay an end. Sometimes, the end becomes an and. It's hard to say that this is it. Let's think of it as me closing this door for now. It's not deadlocked or anything. It's just closed. Maybe I'll open it again, who knows? I myself don't know. I'm letting life roll its course.

So, I'll see you guys later :) Thank you again, and I wish all of you nothing but happiness and good things. Don't miss me too much, okay? LOL i'm kidding

with all the love,

M (or as you know me: latersdamie)

P. S. If you were expecting a legit update, I'm so sorry for letting you down :( Good thing you can still reread this. I have no plans of taking this down at all. You can reread this a million times, I don't mind. 

P. P. S. Sorry for rambling way too much lol this is unedited (i haven't even changed the title) and i basically just typed whatever came to my head pls forgive me

P. P. P. S. thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you