Rose [S.M]

Confessions

"No!."- Shawn says loudly "let me go off me man. I am not going to hurt her."

I hear Shawn's heavy footsteps coming up behind me. He grabs me by the shoulder and turns me around. "I will not let you walk away from me. Not again. I deserve an explanation."

I look up at him. I feel my anger slowly slipping away as I see the vulnerability in his eyes. Those gorgeous brown eyes, I adore since the moment I looked into them.

"Come on." I nod to my door and walk into my bedroom. I walk to my bed and switch on the little light on my nightstand.
He lock the door behind him and lean against the wall next to my door. He is still wearing the dark blue suit he wore during the Show earlier tonight. Well, yesterday.

I look down at my hands that are laying on my lap. I don't know how to start this conversation. I know I made a mistake leaving him like that but I do have my reasons. I am just afraid that he will not understand me or thinks that I am being ridiculous.

"I tried to call you but your phone went directly to voicemail." Shawn finally speaks up.

"Yeah I know. It drove me crazy." Between Anna's non stop texting and the article I saw on Shawn, it was the best decision to just put the damn thing away. I didn't wanted to be tempted to text any of them something in rational.

"What drove you crazy?." He says as he slowly walks towards the bed.

"I had a little fight with Anna earlier." I find it easier to talk to him about my issues with Anna then to actually talk about 'us' or however you want to call it.

"What happened?." He says softly as he takes a seat on the side of my bed.

"She is dating some guy from my past."

"Isn't that against girl code?."

"Yea, I assume it is..." I want to tell him but on the other hand, I can't. Does that make any sense? It just hurts too much to talk about it. I would rather ignore his whole existence than to open a wound that shouldn't be opened.

"But that is not what's bothering you." He says it more as a statement than a question. Probably because my face is even easier to read than his is.

"No, it's not but I do not really want to talk about that right now."

"Okay..." He mumbles softly and then it's quite again.

I glance at the clock 02:23 A.M
Okay Rose, suck it up and talk to the guy otherwise this will take the whole night and I really need some rest before flying across to globe again tomorrow.

"So, umm... why are you here?." I glance up to him, only to see that he is already looking at me.

"Because...I umm..."- he scratches his neck awkwardly "because I couldn't stop thinking about you. And believe me, I tried but nothing helped."

I flush at his confession, but then again why did he took some girl home if he couldn't stop thinking about me?
"And what about that girl?." I ask calmly.

"I was at this party, surrounded with the most gorgeous girls in the world and all I could think about was you. I thought that if I would just take a girl home and I would feel better but, I couldn't do it. I couldn't go through with it.
I felt like I was cheating on you..."

"But, we aren't a thing."

"I know and that is the fucked up part. I feel like you have your hooks so far into me, that I cannot even think straight anymore."

"I didn't do a thing for you to like me. I didn't even try."

"No and that is exactly why I am so pulled towards you. You are so different from all the girls I meet. I feel like... like..."- he sighs and rubs his head with his hands in frustration "I don't even know what I feel."