Rose [S.M]

Halle -fucking- lujah

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Sexual content

This chapter contains slightly sexual content. This is the only time I am going to actually address it.

Next time I will only use
*** <——
In the beginning of the chapter to give you a heads up.

If you don't like this type of content, please skip to the next chapter!

Hope you guys have a good Sunday!

Xo, M.
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"You were such a little badass, when you were child." Shawn chuckles softly as he lays on his side look at me.

"I just wanted to spend time with the horses. I didn't really care for being a little lady." For the past 2 hours we have been telling each other stories about our childhood and talking about the most random things.

"So, you took off without telling your parents, to go to the tables?."

"Yep. In a 800 dollar dress. My mom was furious when she eventually found me. I can still feel the spot where she hit me on my ass."

"I can imagine. I also would go crazy if my child suddenly went missing."

"Well yea... it also didn't helped that it was at an event with all her high sorority friends, with all their perfect behaved children. Never really fitted into that world."

"Why not?."

"I don't know. I am just different. Sure, I like nice things and stuff but I just cannot connect with those people. They say that they are all friends of each other but behind their backs, they say the most horrible things. Not really the crowd I want to socialize with."

"Is that the reason you and your mom do not get along."

"Yea. Well, among reasons. In some ways we too similar of each other but then again, we are totally different."- this doesn't make any sense, does it? "It's hard to explain. We are just not a good combination, most of the time. Like fire and ice."

"Isn't it hard to live with her in one house then?."

"Yes, it's impossible. That's why I spend most of my time at Anna's place or at Ali's place in the city."

"Have you talked to Anna already?." O God... I hope this conversation isn't going where I think it is going.

"Umm sort of. Not really though. I have to think about what I am going to say and not let my emotions do the talking." That's a good, stable answer.

"That guy cannot be that important to not speak to her anymore, right?." How does he know that we have a fallen out over a guy? I cannot remember telling him that.

"A guy?."

"Yea? She is dating a ex boyfriend of yours, right? You told me when I umm..."- o yeah. The night of the Victoria Secret show. When he came over late in the night "the night of the Victoria Secret show." Right...

"Oo yeah..."

"What happened between you and that guy?." Even though it's pitch black in the room and the only source of light comes from the moonlight that shines through the window, I can see his eyes clearly. Which even makes it more intimidating to talk about this.

"Umm... he wasn't a good guy. He wasn't that sweet for me." I really do not want to talk about him. I really don't but I know that Shawn has questions and I cannot keep avoiding talking about it. Can you see the internal battle I am in?

"Did he hurt you? Was he violate?."

"No not physically. I just wasn't ready for a relationship then. I didn't knew who I was at the time. He was in control of what I did. I thought that he was protective, just like a good boyfriend should be to his girlfriend. But really I just couldn't see the fucked, manipulate things he did because I was so in love with him. It was just as much my fault as it was his. My therapist would disagree with me on that but I know that it is the truth."