Rose [S.M]

This is where our path separates

Hi loves,

Just because you guys have been so sweet to me with your comments and all, here is a new, extra long chapter! This is one of the last chapters I am going to write for this book!

But don't be sad, I am planning on writing a sequel for this story. Do you guys agree? What are your thoughts on this?

Happy reading!

Xoxo, M.
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I am numb. I feel numb. It feels like a part of me have been shut down ever since my conversation with Shawn two nights ago.

I cannot sleep. I cannot eat and I can barely think. Especially the last thing isn't handy when it comes to writing my essay. After everything that has been going on, I agreed on Andrew's plan to end my internship early so, that I can focus on writing my essay. What we didn't calculated into the plan was that I can barely function. I am not much further with putting something on paper, then I was 2 days ago.

I have been staring at this blank paper for the last 20 minutes. What doesn't help either, is that Shawn looks like that he has been strapped to my body. He literally never leaves my side. Yea, when he has a meet and greet or when you has to do his show but as soon as he's done, he is back by my side. Maybe that is the reason why I haven't been able to eat or think. You see, when I asked if I was the only one he loved, he didn't confirmed or denied it. He simply took me into his arms and hugged the living shit out of me. Sadly, that was for me enough of a confirmation to know that I was right. I am not the only one who he loves and I don't know if I am able to live with that.

Right now, it's the last night of the European leg of the tour. Shawn has played his last show here in England and tomorrow we are supposed to fly to LA to relax for a bit and the shoot the music video for If I Can't Have You, before going back to work for the American leg of the tour. I am doubting about what I should do. As you know, Shawn and I are in a really fucked up situation. So, I don't really know if I should go along with him to America. Maybe some time apart will be good for us. That doesn't mean that I am not going to join them for the American shows but we need some time to think but then again is that the right choice? I have no idea because I really don't want to give up on us that easily because after all, he is still the one I see myself growing old with. As fucked up as that sounds right now.

"What are you doing here by yourself in the dark?." I squeeze my eyes shut as suddenly the door of the bedroom is thrown open the the bright light of the room turns on.

"Jesus Tiff. You always gave me a heart attack." Thank God I will have a few weeks off from everyone. I don't know how much longer I am going to survive these people. I need a break. From everyone.

"What are you doing? Shawn said something about you working on your paper but I that cannot be true. It's the last evening for God sacks."

"I really have to start writing this." I argue.

"Well, you start tomorrow then. Everyone is celebrating and you are not going to be the only one who sits here alone." She takes my MacBook from me and close it. Even though my protests, she grabs my hand and pulls me off the bed.

"Alright... Alright. Relax." I mumble as she basically pulls my arm off.

"No time to waste. We are playing games and we cannot start until you are there."

"You guys can do games without..."-

"Sshh. I don't want to hear it." She shushes me as she let go of my hand and opens my suitcase.

"What are you looking for?." I ask suspiciously as she basically pulls every single item I have in my suitcase, out of my suitcase. Every single thing inside of me screams to make her stop. OCD is a bitch sometimes. Or Tiffany... depends on how you look at it.