Rose [S.M]

Goodbye

"I don't understand how you still haven't looked at the video clip." Anna says as she scrolls through her Instagram while stuffing a sandwich into her mouth.

Over the past 2 months so much has happened. I am in Amsterdam. I have been in Amsterdam since April. You remember that I didn't had a valid Visa to enter the United States at the last day of the tour in Europe? Well, yeah I basically got send home. There was literally no way that they would have let me go to the States that day. It didn't matter what Andrew said or how much money Shawn offered. Yes, Shawn offered to pay for expenses or whatever they wanted but nothing helped. My Visa was expired and that was that.

I have to wait for 3 months before I could enter the States again. Sooner than 19th of Juli is the American embassy not allowed to review my application for a new Visa. That also meant that I couldn't join the North American leg of the tour that has started about 9 days ago.

I haven't seen Shawn in over two months. His whole schedule was just tight, that there was simply no opportunity for him to fly to Holland. We have talked over the phone. Of course, texted all day long and FaceTime has been the most used application on my phone nowadays but it's not the same then having someone around you 24/7. And the time difference doesn't help either.

So, contact between us have been become less and less. We still text from time to time but I haven't heard his voice in over a week. Shawn says that it is because he is just so busy but I have a disturbing gut feeling. I just know that something is going on.

He has been acting 'weird' ever since the music video of his and Camila's song 'Senorita' has dropped a couple of days ago.

I have heard from a lot of people that the video is really 'steamy'. Out of precaution I decided to not watch it. There is a reason why others are talking to me about it. Shawn has told me about the collaboration between him and Camila before the video was released but never asked what I thought of it. Maybe he knows that I don't like it and is that why he has been acting so distant or maybe he simply doesn't care. That is also an option. Who knows.

"I am not really in the mood to see my boyfr..."- Can I still call him my boyfriend? "Shawn wrapped around another girl. Especially not Camila."

"You, my friend are a strong woman." She says in one of those weird voices she normally does when she is being sarcastic. Who cares what she thinks or anyone thinks. I have to look out for myself and my heart. That is all that matters.

"How are things with Seth?." Enough about my relationship or whatever is left of it.

She raise her eyebrow at me, letting me know that she caught on my change of subject but answer anyway. "I don't know. I like him but yeah... something is missing."

"Like what?."

"I don't know. Something." I furrows my eyebrows in confusion. As I want to speak up to ask her what she means, my phone rings. For 0.2 seconds, I have the hope that it's Shawn but that hope is immediately crushed when I see my cousins name appear on the screen of my phone.

"Hold that thought. We are not done discussing this." I say that Anna as I take my phone.

R: "Hello." I say simply.

C: "Just hello? Maybe I don't know who I am talking to." She says sassy. The famous Williams sass, Ladies and Gentlemen.

R: "Bro, you are the one who is calling me."

C: "Maybe I dialed the wrong person?."

R: "Then I am going to take you to see a doctor. That is not normal when you are 25 years old."