Rose [S.M]

I promise

It has been 2 days since my little 'fight' with Andrew at the music video of 'Lost in Japan'. And of course the whole Shawn elevator situation.

After my little breakdown in the toilet on Shawn's shoulder, he send me home and told the rest of the crew that I wasn't feeling well. I didn't really told Shawn the details about my 'fight' with Andrew. One because I wasn't really capable of speaking full sentences at that at that moment but mainly because I didn't wanted that Shawn knew the details about what Andrew said. The whole situation with him in the elevator was already confusing enough. I do not need him to know that Andrew has his suspicion as well.

I know that he wants to talk about everything but I have been ignoring his calls and texts so far. Thank God that we have a couple days off before the next shows are scheduled so, I can keep avoiding him until I know what I am going to say to him. Until then, I keep myself locked up in my room.

"Rose bear."- I hear Ali's soothing voice. "Dinner is ready in 20 minutes. Do you want me to put a plate on the table for you? I think some food will cheer you up."

"I am not really hungry." I mumble while I lay with my back towards her.

Ali sighs and close the door behind her. I thought that she had left my bedroom but a couple seconds later my bed dents in and I feel her hand stroking through my hair.
"Do not let him get to you like that, babe. It is not even true. You are nothing like the person he describes. Why do you care so much about what he says?." I think Ali hold me for two hours straight when I came home after the music video, while I cried my eyes out on her shoulder. When I didn't had any tears left to cry, she made me tell her the entire story from being to the end. Well, I told her what happened with Andrew. I left the elevator situation for what it was. If I tell them what happened between Shawn and I, I wouldn't have a moment for myself anymore. They will harass me every awake moment.

"It just hurts, you know. I am literally working 24/7. I do everything Andrew wants me to do. My body is exhausted but you do not hear me whining about it. I try to be human and help someone who clearly needs somebody to listen to him and then I am the bad guy? I just do not get it." I turn my body around to look at her.

"There is nothing wrong with what you did. Andrew is just afraid."

"Afraid of what? Of me?." Why would he be afraid of me? He is Shawn's manager. Not me.

"Yes, I think he is. In such a short time you have created this extraordinary connection with Shawn and I guess he is just a little bit intimidated."

"He has nothing to be afraid of. Shawn adores him." Andrew is the big brother Shawn never had. I know, he told me that before.

"He is just looking out for him. I can only imagine how many people try to take advantage of Shawn's kindness."

"You are probably right." I mumble in annoyance. Maybe I should go talk to Andrew about this before this whole thing blows up already more then it has.

"I am always right, you should know that by now."- she flash me one of her signature smiles. "That's why I am telling you to stop ignoring that poor boy." She says as she nods to my cellphone who lights up from yet another text message or missed call.

"I am not ignoring him, I am just keeping my distance." That is what Andrew wants me to do anyways. So, I am listening to Andrew and can avoid Shawn at the same time.

"That is bullshit and you know it. He is probably blaming himself for this situation and he did nothing wrong."

"Okay okay. I will think about what I am going to say to him, okay?."

"Okay, that is good enough for now. Can you now please go shower and eat something? I do not want to eat alone with Liz and her boyfriend. They are clingy as fuck."