New on the block

Don't Love Me Anymore

Monse's POV:
"Bye Monse, see you when you get back." Olivia's the only one awake and I decide not to bother anyone else. "If I come back." I shrug. "You have to be here for my baby shower." She tells me. If she even feels like celebrating. Latrelle could die any day now. Maybe he's already dead. "Of course I'll be here." I give her one last hug and I get in Julia's car. "So do you want to talk about it?" She asks. "The Santos act like they're good people but it's all a lie. I couldn't stay here." I tell her as little information as possible. "Does your dad know?" She asks and I shrug. "Well, I think we should tell him. Even if it's not right now, he's your dad I'm sure he'll be worried when he doesn't see you around." She suggests. "I would be happy to never see anyone from that block ever again." I say as I look out the window. Everything I know soon disappears and I'm in a whole new world. "You live here?" I ask. "Yeah, I know it's a lot." She laughs. "No it's not that, I was actually here a few months ago on Halloween. Jamal has this thing about full sized candy bars." I explain. "If there's one thing people in Brentwood know how to do it's make everywhere else seem crappy on Halloween." She laughs. I follow her into the house and up some stairs. "This is your room, we can decorate it however you want it's totally up to you." She smiles. "Thanks." I say. "I'll give you a minute to unpack, if you need anything I'll be right downstairs. I am so happy to have you home." I need to correct her because this is not my home... at least not yet. "Yeah, I'm happy to be in your home." She gives me a knowing look before she leaves the room. I dig through my duffle bag and start taking out everything I packed. At the bottom there's a brown bag that just says 'I love you too' on it. Unless Ruby put this in my bag when he stopped by to get my stuff, I know it's from Cesar. I try to resist temptation and not open it but that only lasts about five minutes. I open it and there's a letter inside.

You're the writer so sorry if this isn't perfect. I needed you to know everything before you ignore me and forget about me. Latrelle was dealing on our block and I told Oscar I'd handle it. I tried I swear but he wouldn't listen. I'm the same guy you fell in love with. I'll do anything to get you back. I don't even think you'll read this but if you do I hope you know I'll never stop loving you Monse. I'll never stop fighting for you.

*Later that night*
I haven't left the room all day I'm just curled up in ball on my bed reading our old texts. "Break ups are hard but you guys are still young, all you have is time." Julia says when she walks into my room. "We don't have time though. He could get killed before I even get a chance to talk to him." I tell her. She turns on the lights and sits by me. "I haven't been your mom for that long but I'm always gonna be here for you. Cesar is just a bump in the road. Tomorrow let's have a girls day we can do your hair and we can talk about how annoying boys are... or we can eat all the food in the fridge." She says. "Cesar isn't a bump in the road. No matter what he does I still love him." I tell her and she nods. "I get it, I was like that with your dad. You made the right decision coming here. You might think you love him but you're just a kid. It'll be ok." She gets up and turns off the lights. "I do love him and a girls day sounds fun." I tell her before she shuts the door. I grip my phone tightly in my hands and I cry. My screen lights up and there he is. I don't want to do it up but I answer him. "I'm so sorry." Is the first thing he says. "Why can't I stop loving you?" I cry. "I don't want to stop loving you." He tells me. "We have to. We can't keep doing this." I start crying again. "I can't stop myself from loving you." I feel like half of my heart is missing but there's nothing I can do. "I can't love you. I don't want to love you but I still do. I just want it to stop." I start sobbing out of nowhere. "Take all the time you need I'm gonna be waiting for you." He tells me. "No, don't tell me that because I'm not gonna be the one that stops you from being happy with someone else. Don't make me be the one that gets in your way." I turn on the lamp and sit up. I FaceTime him because he needs to see my face when I say this. "You still look so beautiful." He's crying too but he smiles when he sees me. "I love you but I can't. We have to stop before it gets any worse so look at me and tell me you'll get over me." I beg. "No, I never want to lie to you again." Why is he choosing this moment to change his morals? "If you ever loved me you'd move on. I don't know if I'll ever go back to Freeridge." I tell him and his expression changes. I can't read his face I've never seen him look this way before. "I will always love you and I'll never lie to you again. So I don't care how many times you tell me to get over you I will still love you." His voice cracks and I take one last look at him before I hang up.