New on the block

To Join or Not To Join

Monse's POV:
"You're kidding right?" I laugh. "No." He says with a straight face. I stare at him with wide eyes. "I need to go pack." I walk away and he doesn't try and stop me. Maybe this is some kind of fever dream. Next thing I know I'm calling Paula and Jasmine tell them to come over and within a few minutes they're at my front door. "Are you ok?" Paula asks. "Back the fuck up, isn't this that bitch that stole Cesar and got knocked up by Oscar?" Jasmine asks. "Yeah but I have no other girl friends and I need someone to talk this through with." I sigh. "Why didn't you talk to Jamal and Ruby?" Paula asks. "Because they're mad at him and I just need someone to talk to me about it who doesn't care about Cesar right now and they just care about me." I bite my my nails nervously. "Ok first thing you need to do is stop biting your nails and tell us what the hell happened." Jasmine grabs my wrist and pulls my hand down. "Cesar asked me to be a Santo." I tell them. They look at me and then back at each other. They start talking really loud all at once and I feel so overwhelmed. It feels like someone's grabbing my heart and squeezing it. "One at a time I have no idea what you're saying!" I scream. "Ok, you know that's a horrible idea and if you become a Santo I don't know if you're ever going to be anything." Paula says. Jasmine whips her head around so fast I swear her head goes all the way around. "Bitch no, what are you talking about?" Jasmine laughs. "Don't do this for Cesar... do this for you. None of us are safe here but you're screwed because you're with a gang leader, if you're a Santo you won't need someone else to protect you. You're a bad ass so act like it because if you want to do this, do it." Jasmine insists. "But if she's a Santo she has to be jumped in, she has to do illegal shit and she has to put her life in danger." Paula points out. I know it's my choice but it doesn't feel like it is. "I know I called you guys over here but I just don't feel well." I say sadly. "Ok, just remember it's up to you." Jasmine smiles. I go into my room and grab a piece of paper and a pencil. I write down every possible thing that could happen or at least everything I could think of. "So did you make your decision yet?" A voice says from the window. "Jamal, not you too." I shake my head. "What?" He asks. "The window why does everyone think this is the front door?" I ask him. "Cesar might be an ass and an idiot but when it comes to you... he actually thinks things through." Jamal shrugs. "You think this is a good idea?" I ask him. "Oh definitely not, but Cesar thinks it's a great idea." He smiles. "I don't know what to do... I thought it'd be an easy no but I was wrong." I look down at my paper. "Nothing is ever going to be that easy Monse, you know that. Remember this isn't the same as if Oscar was still in charge, you tell Cesar you want out he'll be ok with it." Jamal points out. "So I really do have a choice. It's not just become a Santo and screw your self." I furrow my brow. "The only other person who knows how hard it is to make this decision for someone you love, for your family, is Cesar. Go talk to him." Jamal says. "When did you stop being a weird kid who never knew what to say?" I ask. "I'm evolving get used to it." He laughs before he walks away.
*ten o'clock pm*
Cesar's POV:
I feel someone rubbing my cheek and I shoot up out of my bed. "Relax it's just me." Monse says. "Oh hey." I whisper. "Nice new room, I kind of miss the old one." She says as she sits at the end of my bed. "Yeah, but Oscar's gone I thought I should get the big room now." I shrug. "I guess why not get a goodnight sleep before a long day of-" I cut her off because I don't feel like dealing with this right now. "I get that you hate what I'm doing with my life right now. You told me enough times to last a life time." I sigh. "Yeah." She nods. "So you just came over to talk to me about how much you don't like the Santos?" I ask and she shakes her head. "I made my decision, at least I think I made my decision." She looks down and her hands so I sit next to her and hold her hand. "I don't want you to be stressed over this, if you don't want to be a Santo that's fine. I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do." I look at her sadly. "That's right, you're not forcing me to do anything." She whispers and then she starts to grind her teeth. "Monse no, this is stressing you out... just tell me no and it'll be like it never happened." I pull her closer to me and she leans her head on my shoulder. "I'm not stressed I'm just nervous." She says. "Why?" I ask. Obviously I know why but she looks like she needs to talk it all out. "Because Cesar being a Santo isn't a joke." She looks me dead in the eyes. "I know and if you don't want to do it I get it... not everyone wants to deal with this." I try to smile. "Ok but Cesar, I want to be a Santo." She tells me honestly.