Yugeniverse thank you so much for requesting a review - I hope it's useful!
⭐️ COVER ⭐️
3/5
I like the picture that you've used because I think it creates a mysterious tone for the book. I'm not a huge fan of the red font because it is quite jarring with the rest of the cover, but overall I think it looks very clean and easy to read.
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⭐️ DESCRIPTION ⭐️
4/5
I like the tone of this description. You can almost imagine the narrator saying it at both the end and the beginning of the book. I also think the quotes you use are very poetic and beautiful, and I think it is enticing.
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⭐️ PLOT ⭐️
3/5
I feel like you have an interesting premise for your plot but the execution made it a little hard to follow. The amount of flashbacks used made it a little hard to follow the story, and I felt like the chapters could have been shorter with less speech so that the plot moved clearly. I also wasn't a huge fan of the first chapter just because it unloaded a lot of information onto the reader, and so potentially you could had a more descriptive scene in which Y/N is looking back on her past rather than her just telling the reader what happened.
However, I thought that the way the plot progressed later on in the book was very interesting and you began to build lots of suspense which was really nice to see.
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⭐️ WRITING ⭐️
I have a few points which I picked up on throughout the book:
1) There's too much dialogue. I wasn't really a fan of the way you wrote some parts of the chapter almost like a play. I just thought that some of the speech was unnecessary and didn't need to be included. Instead of using speech to move the plot along, I felt like you could have done it in a more creative way which would have made the book easier to read and follow.
2) There was too much showing and not enough telling. I thought your flashbacks and thoughts of her parents were really well done, but for a lot of the bits set in the present day it was very much focused on what she was doing and not how she was feeling. Especially with a character like her, I felt like you could have gone a lot further into her emotions.
However, this is definitely a big difference between the first and second half of the book. Once I had got to chapter 10 I noticed that your description became more developed and the plot flowed so much better. So when you have time, go back and edit those first chapters so that the whole book feels very uniform and consistent.
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⭐️ CHARACTERS ⭐️
3.5/5
Personally I found it quite hard to connect with Y/N just because I felt like I didn't get to see her inner emotions. There were lots of scenes where we would be told that she was angry or sad, but I felt like you could have digged deeper into her character.
⭐️ SPECIFIC POINTS ⭐️
I think you have a really solid idea, but the way you convey it and move it along detracts from how cool it is. The unnecessary dialogue between characters (e.g. If they're just saying 'hi' to each other or having a conversation which doesn't add anything to the book) slows down the pacing of your book and you lose that tension and suspense which would really make your book shine!
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⭐️ OVERALL ⭐️
With some editing, I think you have the start of a really interesting book and one which can stand out from the crowd.
This wasn't supposed to come across as overly negative - I'm just picking out things I noticed because you have such a good idea and I want to see it carried out to the best it can be!
