A Crossroad ✔

Chapter 64: Best Gift

[Quin]

"Morning, love... How was your sleep?" Ang nakangiting mukha ni Raven agad ang bumungad sa akin mula sa mahimbing na pagtulog. I almost can't see him clear and I grew impatient that I blinked numerous times just so I would see him in the highest definition. I want to see him the clearest way possible.

For the nth time, I admit I am completely taken by the beauty of this man. His mixture of boyish, manly and dark features don't make sense at all because he can carry himself as easy as 1, 2, and 3. Mukhang bagong paligo ang loko dahil tumutulo pa ang tubig mula sa buhok niya at may tuwalya pang nakasabi sa kan'yang balikat.

His beauty will always remain even how time will pass by. Or even how my eyes will turn blind. Bigla din naman akong nakaramdam nang kaunting inggit. He's so lucky to have his hair still healthy and growing. Habang ako, heto at kalbo pa sa kalbo.

"M-Morning..." I murmured in response. "Bakit mukhang good mood ka ata?" nagtataka kong tanong.

Simula nang malaman niya ang tungkol sa kalagayan ko, halos araw-araw na siyang tambay rito sa ospital. He sleeps, eats, and stays here like this is his home. There is no single day that I never felt his passionate care and attention, for me.

That fact alone gives me the courage to fight, still fight even if there are a lot of times that I just want to end all of this misery. His love has fueled me every time that I feel the dread of all dread. Normal lang naman ang mapagod kasi kahit ang mga bayani, napapagod rin.

Hindi rin naman ibig sabihin na kapag huminto ka... Umaayaw ka na. Nagpapahinga lang kasi may susunod pa namang araw. Magpapalakas lang ulit...

"Nothing. I am always like this when you wake up after some pain and after you announce how you hate this setup." Marahan niya akong hinalikan sa noo bago naupo sa aking tabi. Pinikit ko ang mga mata at tinanggap iyon nang buong-buo.

"You were unconscious for two days, love. It was scary to wait," he said in a mellow tone and hint of fear. Hindi ko mapigilang mapanganga sa sinabi niya.

Two days? I mean... Yes, I do collapse but I can wake up after some hours or a day.

"After you collapsed, doctors tried to revive you and luckily, they did. You almost... Tinatakot mo ako nang sobra-sobra." Takot din ako, Raven. Takot din ako kasi ayaw kong mawalay sa'yo.

"I'm very sorry for making you feel bad," he whispered in his hoarse voice. Alam na alam ko ang pagsisisi sa boses niya nang sabihin niya 'yon at hindi ko iyon nagustuhan. Is this still about what happened?

"Sorry din, Raven... Pinag-alala kita... Tapos nasigawan pa kita," pagso-sorry ko rin sa isang mahinang usal. I won't deny the fact that my stubbornness at times, especially because I'm dealing with my negativity right this time is nettlesome. Pero nakatutuwa dahil pinagtitiisan pa rin niya ako.

He is still here when he can just shrug me off and have a better life without me.

He held my shoulders and tried to make me look at him. Uminit ang sulok ng aking mga mata habang nagsisimula nang manginig ang aking labi sa sobrang pagdamdam ng hiya at guilt.

"N-Nagawa ko lang 'yon... Kasi naiinggit ako sa kanila. They can smile, laugh and enjoy a lot. S-Samantalang ako..." Hindi ko na mapigilang mapasinghot. Tears warned to fall down my cheeks but I tried my best to stop it.

I have to tell him what I feel before I cry because he would be confused to why I am crying when he is here already.

"N-Nagpapabigat lang. Sorry talaga. Sorry din kasi... Hindi ko magawa 'yong gusto mo. Alam ko namang gusto mo lang talagang..." Hindi ko na maituloy ang gusto kong sabihin nang mapagtanto kong nakatitig lang siya sa'kin habang may sinserong ngiting naglalaro sa labi.