Assassins Bane (wof medieval human AU)

A Fight For Manliness

Tsunami opened her eye's and then immediately shut them again, the light sending jolts of pain through her body.

What did I do?

She writhed in agony as someone fired a canon several times at her door, oh wait, it was knocking.

"Excuse me" She called weakly.

"Can you please stop,"

There was a voice. "It's me Tsunami, can I come in?" It was Riptide.

"Yes, just please, shut up and be quiet"

Riptide came in, he looked concerned but also a bit amused. "How are you feeling today?" He asked.

Tsunami glared at him, at least as well as she could with squinted eye's. "How do I look like I feel Squid brain?"

"Like you drank twelve goblets of wine last night." Riptide said cheerfully.

Tsunami closed her eye's. 

"Only twelve? I thought it was twenty."

She could hear Riptide moving about.

"Do you wish for me to close the curtains?" he asked.

"Do what you like, just please, don't say anything" Tsunami begged as a fresh wave of pain washed over her.

"As you wish"

Riptide obeyed and was silent.

Once the pain had faded considerably, and she could open her eye's, Tsunami broke the silence.

"What happened last night?"

Riptide laughed quietly.

"I don't really think you want to know." He said.

Tsunami blushed. What did she do? 

"What did I say?" She demanded.

"Oh . . . this and that." Riptide was thoroughly enjoying himself right then.

"Was it about when I was in love with Starflight?  Because that was an extremely long time ago." "No" Riptide said. 

"Was it about the day I kissed Clay? Because that was a dare."

"You kissed Clay?" Riptide asked.

"Oh bother it, just tell me Riptide!"

Riptide smiled.

"Well, you told me I was soft." 

Tsunami his her face in her hands.

"And then you started lecturing Glory about her relationship with Deathbringer." 

"I didn't" Tsunami whispered.

"And then you walked into Deathbringer, called him a seaweed snorter and picked a fight him" Tsunami let her hair cover her face, mortified.

"Oh, he's never going to let me live that down!" She cried.

"That's true, you challenged his manliness. Told him to fight you if he was a man. I might watch my back if I were you. I don't think Deathbringer likes any women claiming to be more manly than him, you sure looked the part though, all you need is shorter hair and to loose a dress or two-" 

Riptide was cut off as a feathery pillow rammed into his face.

"You dare say that I am manly?" Tsunami growled.

Riptide started laughing, as soon as he recovered from the shock.

"More manly than Deathbringer" He said snidely. 

Tsunami lobbed another pillow at him, but he caught it. 

"I am more manly than EITHER OF YOU!" She cried, reaching forwards and yanking him on top of her by his shirt, her head ache forgotten. They wrestled on the bed for a moment, both fighting for the possession of the pillows.

Finally, Tsunami had wrestled him into submission, and she placed one knee on his chest stopping him from moving. She raised a pillow over her head,  bringing it crashing down upon her victim in an explosion of feathers.

"Admit defeat Squid brain, and cower in front of your master!" She cackled evilly. 

  "Alright! Alright! I admit defeat!" Riptide cried, shielding his face.

"Have you had enough?"

"YES!"

"Positive?"

"Definitely!"

Tsunami scooped up a fist full of feathers, and shoved them into Riptides mouth.

And that is how Queen Coral found them. Tsunami kneeling on Riptides stomach, Riptide spluttering as feathers fell out of his mouth.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Queen Coral boomed.

They both leaped up, Riptide bowed deeply, trying to conceal the fact that he still had a mouth full of feathers, Tsunami stood beside him in her night dress, shuffling her feet.

"Riptide . . . out."

Riptide bowed again and sped out the door.

"Tsunami" Tsunami looked up.

"Yes mother?"

"WHAT in HEAVENS NAME have you done to my SWAN FEATHER PILLOWS?!"

" . . . "

 Sorry this chapter sucks, I got three hours of sleep last night, please forgive me.