Bechloe - Sanity

Chapter VIII

Stacie's POV

Okay, so there's the thing. I kinda have feelings for Aubrey. I know, big shot Stacie Conrad has caught feelings but it's true! I don't know what's happened to me and more importantly, what that woman has done to me but it's done now and I can't stop it. I can't stop thinking about Aubrey and our night together. God, I sound like Beca. I have never met someone as amazing as Aubrey. We agreed that we'd see where things take us but we said that a few days ago and I haven't heard from her since. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a little worried. What happened between Aubrey and I that night was completely different from anything I've had with anyone. We talked for hours, we danced, we kissed, we... made love. God. I never thought I'd say it like that but it's true. I didn't fuck her. I didn't just have sex with her. It was more meaningful than that and I just know Aubrey felt the same way. The way she looked at me... that said something.

I am a bit concerned that she hasn't written to me or anything like that. I've written to her a few times saying how much I enjoyed our night together but I haven't heard from her, hence why I'm worried. I really thought that we had a connection and that she'd want to see me again in the future but... I get this feeling that it might not be the case. I don't know where she lives so it's not like I can just turn up and I wouldn't anyway because that would be creepy. Part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she's been super busy but another part of me thinks that she doesn't want to be with me and that what we had was, in fact, a one-night stand.

I hate how much this has affected me. I'm usually the one who draws people in and makes them want to see me. I'm the one who has all of the control. I'm the one who gets text after text and call after call if I ever give my number out. But now that's not the case. The situation has totally flipped and now I'm the one on the receiving end. I'm waiting for Aubrey but she's not responding and I hate it. I hate what she's doing to me but I can't stop thinking about her! Right now, I'm making dinner whilst thinking about Aubrey. I know I have feelings for her but surely she shouldn't be on my mind like this? When does it end!

"Oh my God, I hope you made extra because I am starving!" Beca walks into the kitchen and sits at the bench.

"I have made plenty, don't worry," I chuckle.

I really love my relationship with Beca. We can just walk into each other's houses as if it's our own and have dinner together or do whatever. We're so close and not just because we have sex. Well... had. I want to say had. I want to sleep with Aubrey again and perhaps... be something with her. Oh my God. What's happening to me?

"Good because if not I'll eat your arm off."

"I know. How was your day?"

"I saw Chloe."

"You what?"

"Yeah, I went and saw her."

"And when were you going to tell me? I thought you were going to tell me when you were going to see her?"

"I was but I was driving home and I kept thinking about her so I made my way to hers."

"What did you do?"

"I talked to her about her proposal."

"Did you make a decision?"

"Yeah, I have. I agreed to get to know her more."

I pause for a moment.

"What?" She frowns.

"I just can't believe that you said yes. I mean, I'm glad that you're willing to give her a go but I thought you were dubious of her?"