1:14pm
"How many more days in here" is what Hoseok say keeping his hand very close to mine. I stare at his hand, for so long I wanted to hold a hand.
I wanted a conversation.
I wanted a person to make me smile and laugh.
I wanted that warmth.
I wanted that humor that makes no sense.
I wanted all of this for so long and here he is infront of me. I can't deny him, I can't push him away. I gotta have him around. Getting better doesn't sound too bad.
"I want to get better" he whips his head around towards me. "Hoseok you don't know how long I wanted to hold a hand, how long I wanted a conversation, how long I've been wanting whatever we are doing and I know we barely know each other but I trust you please help me" he smiles warmly at me and for some reason that makes my heart thump.
He grabs my hand swiping his thumb over the back of my weaken hand. His hand is so warm compared to mine, it's like we were made to hold hands. "I will do everything in my power to get you happy" he replies showing his toothy grin.
2:59pm
He showed me his family pictures and told me that his sister lives overseas. That's all he did nothing to overwhelming but just enough to make me want to see my family.
I asked him if they would ignore me, would they just dismiss me, are they even gonna care. He told me we won't know until I asked he didn't give me the bullshit saying "of course they care" because he wouldn't know that and neither will I if I don't call.
Steps to getting better is to have the people around that you care most about lift you up. That means my family has to do better, I would call them over but I hate scenes and I don't want some hospital scene. It's typical and annoying.
Unfortunately Hoseok had to leave me, he has work. He has to answer phone calls and save people lives. He promised to visit me tomorrow, he said he would text me but I told him I won't have service he replied with that sucks and said answer the hospital phone. I said no but of course I'm gonna answer that damn phone.
11:03pm
"So you answer" I smile as I answer the phone. I bite my nails feeling nervous I never done this, I don't do this. But I'm too far gone to even notice it. I hope I'm not over my head with Hoseok.
"Your shift changes" I ask twirling the phone cord. "No I get off at 10 but traffic is bad so I get home late" Hoseok replies flopping onto his bed. "So you worked over time that night I called" Yoongi ask twirling the cord some more.
"I worked someone else shift I'm glad I did, if I didn't answer that phone I would have been here watching my shows or sleeping" Yoongi smiles at that. "Sounds pretty boring" is how Yoongi replies and now Hoseok smiles. "What are your night routines?" Yoongi rolls into his side.
"I walk home from my studio sometimes I eat and stay on my couch blankly watching tv then cry myself to sleep, I have way more action then you" Hoseok laughs. "Sound so fun" Yoongi bites on his smile, he loves how open Hoseok is. He can't believe he said the "L" word but it's Hoseok a man who is slowly changing him.
"I have insomnia" Yoongi say tucking a pillow between his legs, his hands were occupied with phone and the phone cord. "That's no good what time do you usually go to sleep" Hoseok ask causing Yoongi to look at the clock.
"4 or 5" Yoongi replies already starting to yawn. "I have another secret for you, I use to be afraid to sleep I hated it because I felt like if I slept I would miss something so I never slept until one day I went to sleep on a full stomach which sometimes gave me nightmares but I didn't even care I was just happy I was finally getting some sleep" Hoseok fills in his ears.
"What happens when you don't sleep on a full stomach?" Yoongi ask trying to keep his eyes open, he is very sleepy for some reason. "I don't need to do that anymore I started sleeping on my own since my body got use to a full night rest" Hoseok replies before yawning cutely. Too bad Yoongi couldn't see it.
"Can you sing me to sleep?" Yoongi whispers already having his eyes close. There was a long silence before he heard the man sing, he wouldn't admit it to him but his voice was very pretty.
