12:56pm
Hoseok has just came back from a store run, he had brought lunch over for me and him and now he was sitting on the couch writing in his journal. "Gonna eat?" Hoseok ask me knowing I have been staring at him the past minute, me and him had a little moment and now things have been kind of quite.
We came home and laid in bed but he tried cuddling me and I kind of pushed him away, he was getting clingy so I said only couples can cuddle. He said something along the lines 'but you are mine' and I kind of went off which resulted in him sleeping on the couch. I felt bad but I couldn't show that I felt bad that just makes me look more of a fool.
"Waiting for you" I respond quietly tapping my finger along his table, "I'll eat later" he say not even glancing away from his journal. Sighing I open the bag standing walking over to him handing him his takeout. Placing it infront of him he looks up at me "sorry now come eat with me" I say crossing my arms over my chest. He smiles a little "is that a command?" He ask so cockily.
Sighing I look away and nod a little, he walks past me sitting at the table and finally I join him. Starting to eat the food he continues to steal looks at me "say sorry to me the proper way" he say closing my takeout box. Sighing I clasp my hands together looking at him "sorry happy now" he puts his hand over my box stopping me from opening it.
"Fine I'm sorry I got mad last night it's just things were too sudden" I respond this time meaning it and he smiles taking his hand away. Eating my food in bites I watch him Hoseok is wearing a tank top showing his collarbone, his shoulders, exposing his chest. Life isn't treating me fair this is a punishment.
"I am stuffed" he exclaims moments later after me and him finish our food, throwing our trash away he lays on the bed. I get up slowly and walk over to the bed laying opposite of him so our heads met, he turns towards me and smiles.
"Can I ask you something" he hums looking away from me, I never noticed how perfect his eyebrows are, how soft his hair looks, small his nose looks. I'm showing that I'm falling for him and that's not okay. "Can you—can you have sex with me before I go into the 90 day home" I muster up and watch as the room goes silent.
"Why" he ask slowly looking at me my cheeks are on full on crimson at this point. "Because I won't be able to do anything once I'm in there" I say tracing my finger along his cover pattern. He chuckles "you haven't had sex in months why now" he ask side smiling. "Because what if I get the urge I won't be able to do anything I want you to do it" I say catching my lip slightly between my tongue.
"Most likely you'll get the urge to do it if I decide to have sex with you since then it won't make since—that mean you'll ask for quick ones and that ends up messy" he list points that are true and could possibly happen. "I know my body and I know I won't get any urge" I respond and he just hums.
"I can't just have sex with you sex is meaningful to me I want to take you on a date and be able to say your mine that night not just some random time where you feel horny" he explains letting his gaze dance over my face. "I don't want to go on a date with you" I say so quietly and surprisingly he heard me.
"Why Yoongs—are you afraid, I want you and only you and the only way I can show you that is by making you mine" I sigh turning away now staring at the ceiling. "You can't handle me" I respond after so much silence filled between us, "yes I can remember when we laid down on our picnic blanket and I told you I want all of you the imperfections, the wrongs, the rights, I just want you" he tells me once more, why can't I just listen to him.
