8:30am
First day in this house was complete ass; got alone time because of my random outburst, my roommate recognized me for some halfass work I made two years ago that he played for me which only made me more dead from how dumb I sound. Dinner time was awkward it was silent from where I was sitting which I hated, and we had another circle time before bed.
This time I stayed quiet the whole time only giving one answer responses to everything. We won't have visitors for two more days which sucks but we do have visiting hours everyday it's apart of the healing process. So I used my one usage of phone time to ask Hoseok if he could come and that it's okay if he brings Jungkook. But he said Jungkook was busy with work and could come by next time Hoseok visits me which me made excited.
12:34pm
I hugged Hoseok even sneaking a quick kiss from him since it's kind of not allowed to have pda around here. Cockblockers. "You look like hell what happened" he ask sitting down next to me, "first day was horrible—I choked up" I confess to him hiding our hands in my lap.
"What did you say" Hoseok ask smiling because he knows me so well, he know I don't like it here but it's to help me feel better. "I kind of went off on everyone so I was sent to my room for 'alone time' the next group activity I stayed quiet" laughing he pinched my cheek. "Dr. Sao told me to think about what I say before saying it, it triggers others and myself for my actions" I continue to tell letting him play with my wristband.
"It's not my fault everyone is fucked up—I felt so pressured in the group room plus that dumb girl calling me out" I say rolling my eyes and Hoseok squeezes my hand. "She isn't dumb but still" I correct myself and he smiles "my roommate recognized me and made me listen to my two year old mixtape that sucked ass" I say laughing still remembering that one song that actually made me want to vomit .
"Sounds like fun—I was lonely watching a movie all by myself" he say pouting which made me giggle at him. "What movie" I ask still tracing my fingers at our covered hands. "An old avengers movie but I decided to get some rest" I nod and look away from him glancing at the other people who are also having social hour with there visitors.
"I just hope I get better—I don't want my days to be like my first day" I say to him looking down and he lifts my head up "it won't if you try—don't dwell on small things I know it's hard but just think of this as a mountain with many steps" smiling I lean in. "Your gonna get in trouble" he whispers smiling also leaning in "I won't if you don't hurry and kiss me" I whisper laughing as presses his lips to mine.
1:30pm
"Your boyfriend seems nice" glancing over to see it was only Chan, humming in response I continue to flip through this book that suppose to educate others on music. "In Korea economy its hard having a gay relationship in the open—but your different I know my parents would kill me" Chan tells me and even if he seems kind off to me his conversation is more interesting then this music book.
"My parents—they don't know that I'm gay they kind of just saw so I don't know if they accept me or not" I say with a shrug and Chan laughs. "You know Yoongi out of everyone you seem to be my favorite your pretty cool despite your quiet demeanor" chuckling I just nod along with him. Chan doesn't seem too bad himself he just a little weird and start random conversations kind of guy.
