2:03pm
"Hello Yoongi are you ready for your tour, seeing you got comfy in your room" glancing over at the doorway Dr. Sao stands with her clipboard waiting for Yoongi to join her. "Shall we" she offers with a nice warm smile that doesn't sit well with Yoongi.
"Ground rules it's all in this packet that I'm sure you will read on downtime, it's social hour right now which happens two times a day, we have group time at 2:30 and one before bed after dinner" the list goes on as they walk around the big home. Children, woman, men it's all sectioned off. If Yoongi shows good signs he can be assigned to a child and be the teacher.
He didn't make eye contact with everyone only fiddling with his sleeves as he nods at Dr. Sao words. He hates this place a lot, he hates 90 day homes there always so uncomfortable and unnecessary. Always having that gut feeling that they never work.
"Group time is starting soon, if you have any concerns or questions please come see me I'm down the hall" nodding Yoongi quietly walks into the room seeing it was getting filled with the guys and girls. Sitting in the chair Yoongi counts off the people in here—15 count himself 16–great he has to say something in these group activities.
"We have a new member today his name is Yoongi" they all wave at me with smiles and some with werid looks. I wanted to hide away from everyone it's all so sudden. "Would you like to say something Yoongi" spacing out for twenty minutes is not a good idea since I didn't know what the hell they were talking about.
"Huh?—umm what happen" I ask quietly glancing at everyone before my eyes landed on the 'teacher' she seems too cheerful for me. "Share your story it's tradition for new comers" a girl with a rock band shirt and many rips in her jeans speaks up. Why is that tradition, why the fuck is there a tradition in this home.
"Umm I don't have one—just here" I say still messing with my rings "oh Yoongi everyone has a story it's best if you share it" the teacher say to me in that weird voice that tries to convince people to speak. Sighing I glance at everyone seeing that Chan was looking at me with some smug smile. "How did you get here?" The teacher rephrases for me with a smile. Why is she smiling?
Sighing again I lick my lips before scratching the back of my neck, "umm I have bad issues with keeping promises—kind of tried to end it all I guess my head isn't right" there was silence once I finished talking. "I heard you tried killing yourself two times how was that—I mean once was enough for me" a very hyper girl asked me having everyone agree like they been snooping on me.
"Jeong what did I tell you about snooping" the teacher say glancing over at her before setting her eyes on me. "I'm sorry Yoongi" she explains to me and I chuckle "no it's fine—it felt wrong I failed the first time and the second time I failed again you know why couldn't I finish the job what's holding me back—it's embarrassing knowing that's how people are gonna look at me the failure, right? I don't know it's just something that bothers me" I confess and everyone was still quiet.
"Yoongi you shouldn't talk like that—it's great that you failed it means that you lived, imagine the world without you" the teacher tries to cheer. "Actually I stayed up countless nights thinking about how the world would feel if I left and I didn't see much of a difference, I mean of course my family and one friend would be affected but the whole world is kind of exaggerated despite the high rate of suicidal rates it's up there I would add on but still wouldn't make that much of a change seeing how the whole world doesn't know me only a handful so if I did end it there wouldn't be that much of different and you wouldn't be effected because you simply don't know me."
3:56pm
I was sent to Dr. Sao office for speaking ridiculous comments, I just sat in the corner curled up thinking about how this is gonna be the worst 90 days of my life. Why can't I just do serve therapy and stay home with Hoseok where my real happiness is.
"Yoongi you do realize you can't really say things like that here, it triggers others and yourself" Dr. Sao say sitting across from me. Not answering her she sighs and comes closer to me. "Do you miss someone right now" she ask me having me slowly look at her "your boyfriend hmm?" I nodded hesitantly.
"Think about him—that usually helps the people here" she encourages me with a smile and placed her hand on my back. After a long talk about me choosing my words carefully I was sent upstairs to my room for some alone time.
"You must be the brave yoongi—I'm Jinyoung I won't bother you that much" he speaks entering the room flopping onto his bed. I just nod and look away from him, "before I leave you alone I just want to say I like your work—your one of my favorite producers" eyes widen at his comment. "Thanks" I whisper and watch as he pulls something out of his pillow, it was an album I produce two years ago.
"This really helped when I was going through something—I mean I'm here now but when I feel down I play this" he hands me the cd and I look at the front and back. "I didn't think anyone actually liked my work" I tell him handing him back his cd which did sell out but for reason I still don't care for it.
