𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰 || sansang

12⋆Burning up

_______________________

I'm in the middle of nothing
And it's where I want to be
Why at the bottom of everything
I finally start to believe

_______________________

SAN

San exhales sharply, wishing the thoughts in his mind would leave his body just as easily, as the smoke that flows from his lips. The freezing wind is stroking his cheeks while his body is trembling from the cold. Tugging the collar of his jacket closer around his neck isn't helping much, and he knows he eventually will have to just go inside. He watches the fancily dressed people through the windows of the event hall in front of him, wishing he had to do anything but join them. But he has to.

Tonight is his father's 60th birthday celebration, and he has unwillingly agreed to attend – only to stop his mother from nagging him. Not that anyone in his entire family gives a shit about him anyway, his mother is the only one who still tries although it isn't much. The small glimpse in her eyes which tells San she still, deep down, loves him is fading each time he sees her. In the end she only cares about keeping the picture-perfect family image up.

With heavy steps he drags his body through the entrance where he is greeted by a young woman with a guest list in her hand. After giving her his name, she nods and gestures him in the right direction.

He takes a few deep breaths before entering the party. There is a lot of people there, too many. His entire family, his father's business partners, everyone. While searching the room for his mother, just to make sure that she sees that he actually showed up, San pushes his dark hair back with a frown on his face. God, he hates being here already. The white shirt he is wearing is for once buttoned all the way up, and he feels like he is being choked by the otherwise soft, cotton collar.

"San, there you are! I'm so glad that you could come," his mother suddenly calls out behind him, sounding as genuine as she can.

She wraps her arms around him in a shallow hug, and San knows it's just for show. She hasn't given him a hug in years. He doesn't even get the chance to make his own body react before she has let go again.

"You've gotten so skinny, do you eat right?" she adds, for once actually sounding like a real mother. "Did you say hello to your brother yet?"

San shivers by the words that instantly brings back all the bad memories he has with his brother. At the same time, San also takes notice on how she deliberately didn't ask about greeting his father. Even though it's his birthday after all, San has no intention of speaking a single word with that man. And he knows his father feels the same way about him. Their relationship has been non-existent after San didn't choose the path that he was planned to take; to become a lawyer like his father, or a doctor like his brother.

And speaking of the devil.

"Oh, there he is!" San's mother lights up in a smile, something that hasn't been aimed at San for many years now. "Sanggyu!"

Yes, there he is, the golden boy – the pride of the family. San's five-years older brother, Sanggyu.

Despite them being around the same height, San has always felt his brother was way taller than him. Most likely due to the way that man carries himself. Always too straight of a posture, and with that condescending look on his face. Sanggyu is a man whose aura just demands respect as soon as he walks into a room, something he definitely got from their father.

"San," his usual cold voice says as the brothers are standing face to face.

"Sanggyu..." San has to hold himself back from rolling his eyes when he greets him.