𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰 || sansang

37⋆Last goodbye

____________________________

I never want to leave this sunset town
But one day the time may come
And I'll take you at your word
And carry on
I'll hate the goodbye
But I won't forget the good times

____________________________

YEOSANG

"Yeosang, don't make any rash decisions," Seonghwa mumbles, as Yeosang is about to leave the cab. For once the older chooses to keep his voice on the low, probably already aware that his advice won't be taken into consideration anyway.

"It's not rash if it's necessary..." With a long sigh, Yeosang opens the car door and steps outside. An apologetic smile, as sincere as he is able to force it to be, is send Seonghwa's way.

"Forget about San," Seonghwa adds, just as Yeosang is about to close the car door between them, "Don't let anything coming from such a toxic person affect you."

Yeosang nods as a response, knowing that Seonghwa is right, although actually doing as he is advised might not be as easy as a simple nod.

The sound of every step up the stairs inside the apartment complex, bounces back at him as waves filled with the reminder of what happened tonight. Just like every step resounds in his head, following along with his heavy heartbeat. The tears are aligned on the very edge of his lower lid, but he stubbornly holds them locked in place - this time being the hardest ever.

San's spiteful words are still clawing their way through the very last of his defenses, trying their best to take root in the soil of his bleeding heart. If only tonight had just been a horrible nightmare, if only those hateful, humiliating words had never seen the light of day. If only...

As soon as Yeosang has slammed the apartment door behind him, he falls to his knees - hesitant sobs turning into agonizing cries, rivers of tears that seem so endless he might drown in them. With his hand clenched against his chest, Yeosang gets up and staggers towards the bed, but even the softness of wrapping himself in the duvet doesn't feel comforting anymore.

With San already ignoring him prior to tonight, Yeosang couldn't have imagined things to get any worse. No calls, no texts, no contact at all since the night Yeosang had asked San if he loved him. And the silence had been worse than a no. But even with all those things happening beforehand, San still managed to tear him apart even more.

Maybe Seonghwa is right. San is toxic, his words are pure venom to Yeosang's mind and even thinking about him will only cause more harm. But Yeosang already knows he'll have a hard time getting over him. Or, perhaps it's the degrading realization of his own naivety that is the hardest after all?

✦

As the days pass by, Yeosang does his very best to keep his head high, but his impulsive idea of wanting to move back home is still standing stronger than anything else. Classes have been dreadful and in the end he even decides to just drop out. Maybe school isn't for him at the moment, and he will go back to London to work for a while, while sorting things out within himself.

While his mother is both concerned and thrilled to hear the news of him returning, and his father not saying too much, as always - Wendy seems more than skeptical.