_______________________
You can't feel me, no
Like I feel you
I can't steal you, no
Like you stole me
_______________________
SAN
San can't do anything, but helplessly watch Yeosang disappear down the dark hallway. Closing the door to his apartment, feels like closing the door to the chance of anything ever happening between them. Walking back into the bedroom, San wants nothing more than to just disappear. Or to be left alone at least.
On his way home from the engagement party, he had swung by a random nightclub and gotten so wasted out of his mind that he didn't even care when a random girl had thrown herself at him. He had wanted to drown the feelings inside of him, with alcohol or with her, as he thought those feelings never would be returned anyway.
First time falling in love has already turned into his first heartbreak.
San scoffs at the irony in that thought, but his face turns into a deep frown the second he sees the girl on his bed. Sure, she is hot, and yes, they had been going at it real good before Yeosang had shown up. But now his mind is somewhere else completely.
When he sits down on the bed again, back turned to whatever her name is, he sighs heavily while burying his face in his hands. How could this happen to him? How could he fall in love with someone, and have messed it up already? His body itches when the girl lays her arms around him from behind. Her soft kisses burn on his skin, and he wants to push her away. But he doesn't.
Instead he reaches over to grab the open bottle of Whiskey they had both been drinking from, when they got to his place, and he takes a big sip of it – hoping that the intoxication will help him forget the pain, if only for a brief moment.
"Are you okay?" the girl asks, her long nails scratching his skin, like her voice in his ears.
"Yeah... Of course," San replies, chugging down what could probably be counted at five shots at once. "Now, where were we?"
Getting on top of her again is the last thing he wants to do right now, but he needs to distract himself, and fucking her is the easiest solution after all. Or so he thought.
Her sweet moans are doing nothing for him, his body is numb and he feels nothing. Not even lust. All he can think of is the hurt look on Yeosang's face before he had run away.
After a few failed attempts of getting hard again, San sends the girl away - she didn't leave without complaints though, but San doesn't care at all, he just needs to get her out of his sight.
✧
San feels like shit, having to meet up with the guys for dinner the following week. Yeosang hasn't had a shift at work since the engagement party, but both he and San had agreed to go out for dinner with Felix and Hyunjin prior to the night at the JW Marriott.
"I haven't had sex in like three weeks!" Felix complains, practically slamming his hands against the table.
"Wow, that's pretty serious! Do you need medical help?" Hyunjin laughs, ducking down as Felix jumps up, trying to slap him.
"Do you need a punch in the face?" Felix rolls his eyes, sitting back down on his chair. "But yes, it's pretty serious. I hope there'll be some cuties at the club tonight."
San keeps side eyeing Yeosang, while his two other friends are busy discussing girls, but Yeosang doesn't look at him. Not even once. Instead he just spins his empty Soju glass around on the table, his lips pursed together, while his eyes intensely watches the small glass in his hand.
YOU ARE READING
𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰 || sansang
Fanfiction[completed] To San, life is just like a game where everyone loses in the end. Until he meets Yeosang; a guy with stars in his eyes, but a broken heart hidden in his chest.
