𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰 || sansang

22⋆Rosy lips

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When I have nowhere left I can run away
Will you lie to me, tell me I'll be okay?

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SAN

"Taeyong used to be so sweet to me, always making sure I was happy. Texting and calling me all the time, whenever we were apart. I can't escape the thought of what could've happened, if we had stayed together..."

San silently watches how Yeosang's eyes sparkle when he talks about Taeyong, and a strange feeling pinches San's heart as the story continues. Yeosang just stares out the window while he talks, completely lost in the memories of his ex-boyfriend.

The odd, new feeling has soon turned into San's heart racing in the cage of his chest, and San has to use his willpower to slowly pull his eyes away from the younger. He furrows his brows in despair of this unknown feeling inside of him, and the lack of knowing how to deal with it.

It has been years since it last felt natural for him to care about another human being, but seeing Yeosang this sad has awakened something within San. Something he was sure was dead and gone a long time ago. When tears had been rolling down the younger's flushed cheeks, San had dried them away without even thinking about what he was doing.

"I know our break up was bad, but I... I guess I'm scared I'll never truly get over him..." Yeosang continues, his voice starting to tremble again.

"You will," San mutters, looking down at his own hands to avoid eye contact, "you just need to meet someone new. And not someone like the guy from tonight."

"I'm sorry for dragging you into my mess..."

The sadness caused by guilt, which shows itself in Yeosang's voice, hits San right in the heart and he finally turns his head to look at the younger again.

"It's fine," San quietly mumbles, "but, why did you even agree to meet with some stranger like that?"

"I... Well, it's stupid but... I'm going to my best friend's engagement party soon. And I wanted to find a date beforehand...Because..." Yeosang sighs heavily, his eyes finding their way to San's while he briefly purses his lips together. "Because my friend is getting married to Taeyong's cousin, which means that..."

"He is going to be there..." San finishes the sentence, as Yeosang once again looks like he's on the very edge of breaking down.

Yeosang nods, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. His cheeks are still a bit rosy from crying earlier. Rosy like his lips, which San can't stop his eyes from being drawn to.

"You need to let go of him. I know it's hard, but he is hurting you even though he isn't even here..." the words weigh heavily on San's own heart as he speaks.

Giving advice is definitely easier than following them yourself, and San wishes that he could do as he had just told Yeosang to do. Just let go. Being way too familiar with being hurt with something from the past, San realizes he doesn't want Yeosang to be hurting in the same way.

His hand moves to wrap around his other arm, clinging around his own hurtful past, and he remembers the scars that are spread all over Yeosang's upper arm. Back when he first saw them, San did wonder why a guy like Yeosang would ever do something like that to himself. But the answer seems pretty clear now, and San curses the guy from the younger's high school days. A guy like that deserves nothing but hell. At the same time San starts feeling a little guilty about his own actions.