𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰 || sansang

8⋆Lost without you

__________________________

The memory
That I thought I'd forgotten
It devours me
Where are you now

__________________________

YEOSANG

Hang-over is hitting Yeosang right in the face the second he wakes up. He struggles to even open his eyes, and his vision remains blurry the first many times he blinks his heavy eyelids. The taste of yesterday's party is lying on his tongue like a thick layer of regret. But nothing compares to the pain in his head, which only increases by every stinging breath he takes.

Yeosang closes his eyes again, hoping to fall asleep. But his body has no intention of letting him rest. Instead he feels the unpleasant feeling of having to throw up. When he has to give in and accept that this is not a fight his mind can win over his body, as the vomit keeps pushing itself upwards inside his throat, he rolls his tired body out of the bed. 

Every step towards the bathroom is a struggle, and he sways uncontrollably from side to side, like a lost passenger on a boat in stormy weather.

His body overheats only seconds after he has thrown his head down the toilet. The taste of puke in his mouth just makes him want to throw up even more, and so he does. He feels like several minutes are passing by, while he is clinging onto the toilet seat for dear life. 

The sweat on his forehead adds perfectly to this fever-like state he is finding himself in, while he is gasping for air during the endless stream of emptying his entire insides.

✧

A long shower later, Yeosang is staring at himself in the mirror while brushing his teeth. But even a whole tube of toothpaste wouldn't be enough to get rid of the vile taste in his mouth.

He doesn't remember much from last night, not even how he got home. Never has he been that drunk before, and he definitely doesn't plan on doing that again. Ever. The only things he remembers is getting to the party after work, having a few talks with random people. Then suddenly feeling so drunk that he couldn't feel his body. He also remembers small glimpses of throwing up in the bathroom... But he wasn't alone.

A couple of blurry images flashes before his eyes, but the face that he seems to remember... That can't be it, can it? Yeosang stares even harder at his own reflection, trying to remember just a tiny bit more. Because, if he remembers correctly then none other than Choi San was helping him. Yeosang shakes his head while putting his toothbrush away.

No, San would never help him out.

When Yeosang grabs the towel to dry his mouth, a strange feeling spreads inside of him when the soft fabric touches his lips. He stops moving immediately and his eyes meet his own in the mirror. It's weird. It's like there's something he should be remembering, but he can't. Did he kiss someone last night?

"You must be crazy, Kang," he mumbles to himself as he dries his mouth. "Who would kiss you anyway?"

The only ones he can think of are some of the girls who were almost throwing themselves at him at the party, but he is pretty sure he had turned them all down. Politely, of course. But he still can't shake the strange feeling of a pair of soft lips against his own.

"You've been single for too long," he tries to argue with himself, while leaving the bathroom.

When Yeosang returns to his bed his phone is buzzing on the nightstand. It's Wendy calling him, and he wonders what in the world she is doing up that early considering the time difference it's only around 8 AM in London.

"Sangie? Happy New Year!" her sweet voice sings from the other end. "Did you enjoy your night?"

"Happy New Year! Yeah, I think..." Yeosang dumps down onto the bed, pulling the covers over his legs with a loud yawn. "What are you doing up this early?"

"Ah... I haven't really slept much... I... I have some big news. Could you turn on Face Time?"

Yeosang does as he is asked, and the face of his beautiful best friend is looking at him through the screen with the biggest smile. Wendy moves her hand in front of the camera and an enormous diamond ring is decorating her finger.

"Oh my God!" Yeosang bursts out in surprise, to which Wendy laughs. "I... Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes!" Wendy almost squeals back. "Jaehyun proposed to me last night! Can you believe it?"

"Wendy I... I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!" And Yeosang isn't lying although his voice might seem a bit hesitant.

Of course it hurts him that he couldn't be there, right now it doesn't feel that good to be on the other side of the Earth and to miss out on such a big thing his his best friend's life.

"I wish you could've been here," Wendy says, adding to the pain in Yeosang's heart, "I miss you so much, Sangie! Promise me you'll come to our engagement party?"

And there's nothing Yeosang would rather do. Wendy isn't sure when the party will be yet, but she promises to call him the second she manages to fit it into both her and Jaehyun's busy schedules. When she announces that they might even travel to Seoul to have the party there, it just makes it all the easier for Yeosang.

At least for a short while. When they have hung up and he is all alone in his room again, a thought he probably should've had five minutes ago suddenly bumps into his head. Considering who Jaehyun's family is, a get-together like this would mean that the one person Yeosang doesn't want to see, but also the one he is longing for the most, will be there.

"Fuck..." Yeosang sighs before falling backwards onto the bed.

For probably the millionth time, if not more, Yeosang is stuck staring at his lock-screen photo. While chewing on his lower lip he once again curses that he hasn't changed it yet, and he wonders if he'll ever find the will-power to do so.

"You're so stupid," he whispers to himself, before throwing the phone on the bed.

No matter how hard Yeosang tries, he can't help but turn into a big, whining mess when it comes to this particular issue. Sometimes he wishes he hadn't gone to that party, and that he didn't kiss those soft lips in the dark garden. If only he had kept his distance, admiring the most beautiful human being from afar – instead of letting him come close, letting him whisper those sweet words that made Yeosang's heart skip a beat.

Everything with him had felt like a dream and Yeosang was flying higher than ever before, carried by their love. But suddenly the dream ended and he crashed down, alone, his heart scattered everywhere and the only thing that was left inside his chest was a deep hole of nothing but pain.

"I miss you..." Yeosang runs his fingers through his hair and lets his hands rest on the top of his head, while he stares at the ceiling. "I miss you, so fucking much..."

✧

A couple of hours later, having done absolutely nothing, Yeosang is still lying in his bed. He's been sleeping on and off only causing him to feel even more tired for each time. Now he is trying to go through last night in his head, but there's a lot of blank spots that he just can't seem to fill in.

The only thing that has become only slightly clearer to him, is that he now is 99% sure that it actually was San who helped him get to the toilet to throw up. Why San did that though is still a mystery.

Yeosang grumbles to himself, hating to admit that he might have misjudged San. Maybe he isn't that bad after all. This still doesn't mean that Yeosang wants to be friends with him. Or anything else for that matter.

And he is pretty damn sure that San feels the same way...

____________________

♫ The Rose - Insomnia

A/N: 

So guys... Are we excited for the reveal of Yeosang's perfect ex-boyfriend? ;D